Thursday, April 22, 2010

On Coping Strategies


How do you help your children deal with coping strategies? What is coping strategies? I say it’s when
Your child is feeling frustration, something is not being heard the way they want it to be heard or it is being heard the way he is saying it and it is not being received the way he wants it to be received.
"MOM, my brother hit me! " Sometimes I think the kids expect me to JUMP IN THE AIR as if I were prepared to fight a dragon and go out on the attack. The attack of the brother who hit him of course. First I say I am sorry you got hit and ask if my child is hurt! This usually throws them off, they need for me to take action , but i also am caring for them and intimately that is what they want from me.

Then I ask why you think your brother hit you so I can know how I am going to punish him and make sure the punishment fits the crime.

“I think he hit me because I pushed him away when he was trying to watch me play a game on my computer.”

I have another son who walks away every time there is adversity. He walks away, and I don’t follow him. (I used to but all we did was enter into a battle of silence and a battle of why are you walking away conversation). He walks away, copes within himself with the problem and returns back to normal spirits. I always try to comment that I know he walked away and I am happy he was able to return. I am happy he is learning internally how to cope with situations by walking away from them. (At this point). I later
Bring up the situations as if even though he walked away from the dealing with them that we can have a chance now to make sure things are settled and not busting inside.

I have another son who acts out in other ways as his way of coping with something that happened. When I see him act out for attention I immediately go to: What happened that is making you speak so loud?” Why are you teasing your younger sister so harshly, did someone tease you today? Do you want to talk about it?” Coping with something that is going on within you is better than creating a bad feeling amongst your brothers and sister as that is what you are doing now!”

Identification of Coping Skills needs to be pointed out for children to acquire them!

What are you doing today to help your children cope with tough situations?

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