Friday, April 23, 2010

on achievement

On Achievement

What decisions are you making on how important your Childs achievement is?
What are you saying and what are you doing to send this message. Are all your
Actions and words in line with each other.

I sign up my 10 year old for baseball, it’s the first time he has ever played for a baseball team, all five of his siblings go out for the first game to watch him play, and he bats 3 runs in and plays right field. He had a great day! So I hire a baseball coach to help him learn how to field, he can’t learn from mommy and I know just the right guy! Here I am trying to send the message that you need to spend some time learning how to play the game before you decide if you like it or not and I am going to support your efforts like I have supported your older brothers who also worked with this coach. Does he want to, NO! Why, because its gonna be hard work. Since it was completely quiet for 7 innings in right field and standing around out in the grassy outfield where no child could hit the ball past the inn field was cause enuogh to learn another position.
He worked with the coach and asked when he can work with him again!

This Saturday is was raining when we woke and having no car in the city; meant riding our bikes in the rain to Randall’s Island for the game and it was a grim way to start Saturday morning, so we missed the game.

What message am I sending when we missed the game? Certainly not one showing our obligation to the team….but I have to say honestly I felt the game would have been cancelled anyway (and I left my son with that feeling too) in order not to send this message intentionally!

My seventh grader is thinking about what High School he might be applying to next year. I make sure to let him know that the next school year will be completely encompassed by this process and that we should enjoy the hard work you are doing in the seventh grade. Lets stay in the seventh grade NOW to make sure that what everything you have to put on your applications you will be proud of.

Furthermore here our K-8 school has posted the emissions of all the existing eight grade students ….and I advise my son to scan over the list of schools the graduating class is attending…..and make sure he knows his family would be happy with any of those schools he chooses himself. There is no pressure for any achievements here! Actually I tell him about a performing arts public school which you have to test with an audition of sorts to get in. I tell him it’s so outside the box from who he is yet would be so good for him to stretch towards. Sending the message he can be who he wants to be and I will love him for it.

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