Sunday, February 28, 2010
You start reading that there are many different versions of parenting, and you start using your intuition more. This is a good thing as our children come from us and you are usually right when you get a feeling of how you should handle a situation.
It is always good to read advice from the professionals. They are professionals because they have spent thousands of hours studying the subjects, children and parents and they report on their findings.
I am writing this blog and book because I also spend thousands of hours on parenting different age groups and different situations and have experiences and techniques which create an incredible amount of joy and ease in our life which I want to share.
You are a critical thinker. You can share the information that you are reading that you alsobelieve in and bring it into your family. Try new ideas when the old ones aren’t feeling right !
I find it really helps when I am in a situation with a four year old or a thirteen year old and every age in between and I quote from a book I just read! It helps any child understand where my ideas are coming from, they might be one of popular thought or someone elses thoughts for sometimes that is better than only from mommy !
Somehow for the child if I don’t stand alone, I speak with a more powerful voice. Also
sometimes when a child is feeling like they are the only ones in the world to have to go through this......or feel this way.....and then you share with them a story which they can hear other people might feel the same way at times too .....they feel more connected (as opposed to disconnected) and deal better
with moving forward or
just feeling better!
I let them know, I believe in this idea that I read. It helps me explain my thinking!
Mira Kirshenbaum and Charles Foster write in Parent/Teen Breakthrough page 37 “work only on improving your relationship with your child…….if you don’t think it will help your relationship, don’t do it”
Michael Thompson writes in IT’S A BOY page 269 that in supporting your sons transition , his growing up he should do useful work at home, have limited screen times, and allow him to suffer consequences
Louise Bates Ames, Frances Ilk and Sidney Baker write in your ten to fourteen year old page 111 “ …your child may seem to be negative by withdrawing and refusing to share, but he/she is protecting their fragile and half formed budding personality which is not secure enough to come under anyone’s scrutiny. Especially Yours !
Jo Ann Deal writes in Girls will be girls; on page 131 When Go away means find a way to stay!
All these books I recommend and they are all great reads! But remember after you read a book, to know there is another book right behind it with another variation on parenting.
You are a great parent as you are seeking information right now by reading this blog......or you are a great friend of mine, so you are reading this blog and therefore by association you are a great parent.
(Association to me because I admire you and all that you are which is also most definately a great person in the important aspects of your life)
make the trip to the book store or Browse through Amazon.Com and buy a book today !
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Sometimes I do, but I have found a super fabulous trick.
Audio books. Its not reading, and I still read tons....People say I eat books,
with my reading chair and my own personal library by my bed, I love to read
and flip through pages. I love to mark pages and read them over and over again.
I like to finish a great author in two or three nights!
But I need the lights to be on and the room to be quiet to read!
But any mother can listen and watch at the same time . We do it all the time.
We are trained for it !
WELCOME IN Audio Books on CD or ITUNES.
The old fashion CD player which you can now buy for under $20.00
most anywhere is my favorite item ! Headphones that slide behind the head, and the pillow
doesnt bother them, (try the nike sport running style they slip into your ears from behind.)
Now I am on the couch, my arm around my child, or proped up on the bedroom furniture
with my children all piled in and my face watching the fifth rerun of SPONGEBOB as changes his shapes but I am listening to my book !
Now I have tried to download books onto ITUNES and it is another great way to listen to chapter books, however I have a personal problem with keeping my itunes player charged especially since I also love listening to music and my itunes player is always in my purse !
Two double AA batteries and I am back up and running by my childrens sides during
their TV time with the CD audio book player. The itunes player needs to be plugged into the computer or a charger when its out of battery.
Now why is this do nice.....because being a parent of six children does NOT mean I always
have to be doing with them or doing for them.
I can just be ! I can just sit besides them, who ever may or may not join and watch
Wizards of Waverly Place. I am connected to this show, I have taken them to the movies
to see the Premier of the Show ! I have gone to the Selena Gomez Concert, I am invited to
see this disney channnel show ! They welcome my prescence and welcome my listening
device......as it is low enough to answer a questions I might get !
Now, when you try this new technique, try it with a parenting book, one you have been meaning to read. It takes a bit of focus to follow the details of some authors Non-Fiction tales while the
older children are watching American Idol or I-Carly
So now you CAN read that book you have been wanting to read !
I will make sure my book comes
out in audio CD and Itunes as well as in print !
This is surely an area which I can offer some tips. Travelling with Six children I have I had many experiences of how to pack, not packing too much, what to bring, how to bring it.
The younger children age 0-4 need a lot of stuff and I recommend that you pack their things in a separate duffle bag. Items such as toys, diapers, bottles (the extra ones) pool toys, ski toys, books, boxes of paramat milk so you have something when you land, or formula powder, etc…. Separate Duffle for sure!!
GENERAL CLOTHES DUFFLE
Then there is the general stuff: I make a quick checklist of the general stuff and collect it together for each child. This list is underwear, socks, PJs, shorts, short sleeve shirts, sweatshirt/sweater, long sleeve shirt collared, pants, jeans, sweatpants and tee shirt. The girl has a small alteration including dress, stretchy pants, and button sweater. Then I multiply by the number of days and depending on whether there is a washer or dryer I include some laundry detergent in a zip lock bag. Ski suits or bathing suits, always two travel towels, and always two canvas bags to move things around within a hotel
THE OTHER DUFFLE:
This duffle has the zip lock bag with the laundry detergent, the snacks for the room that are packaged well and won’t get crushed, the refillable cups (for water fountains) the toiletries, and the pool toys (even a twelve year olds wants a water pistol, a sand shovel, goggles, flotation devices, printer paper for the room, box of crayons, cd for music player in room, DVD for room DVD player, books, electrical multi-plug outlet (as there usually is only one really good visible outlet in a hotel room outside the bathroom and this is where we set up a charging center for the computers, game boys, etc…) extra batteries, screwdriver, the sneakers, flip flops or boots ! Gallon size zip locks bags (at least 10) and a few white house garbage bags! Microwave popcorn and a few brown lunch bags.
THE PLANE BAG:
This is a carry on side rolling bag which we take on the plane which has the travel DVD players, DVDs, charged game boys or leapsters or computers, word search books, maze books, pencils, paper, kids magazines, the game bag (which is a plastic zip bag of sharing games for various systems) and the chargers in case we need them in the airports.
This tends to become a great deal of stuff with six children so we SHIP!! Most airlines these days charge bag fees and all hotel have receiving rooms which are ready to accommodate you. UPS. It’s really amazing! One week in advance and you are guaranteed within the USA to have your items waiting in your room before you check in. It’s really that simple. I always ship everything everywhere I go. I also ship extra duffle bags in case I don’t have the convenience of a mail room to ship things back home and incase the boxes break and I just can’t get it done on vacation. I pack the items into the duffle bags and travel with them on the plane home in the extra duffle bags that I shipped with my things.
Just this past holiday season I went on a road trip with my children SKIING! Each child had a small manageable duffle bag for themselves which contained their sleeping clothes while they wore their day clothes. At night I cleaned their day clothes as most ski hotels or motels has washers and dryers somewhere in their facilities, (some items were just clean anyway so it was only one load) and put them back in their own personal duffels. They were able to manage the one outfit for themselves. Since they all wore one piece or two piece outfits over their day clothes, it was quite easy and a lite way to travel with six children on a five day ski trip with:
One duffle each for their day and night clothes ( I had one too)
One Large Duffle for their Ski Boots or their Day Boots
One duffle for their jackets at night or their one-piece ski suits or two piece suits
One extra duffle for everything else (toiletries, gloves, goggles, hats, chopsticks)
LABELING THE DUFFLE BAGS……A great tip is I take the packing tape, which is clear and I pull out a really long piece. I write the name of my child on a piece of plain paper , take the long piece of tape and put in between the handle of the duffle bag and let it stick together to eachother with the name of my child on a section of the tape. So each duffle has a to foot piece of tape with a childs name sticking up from it !
Start Young that are my advice! Managing themselves on vacation is much simpler than managing themselves at home. You can give your children the chance to find their own dresser or corner of a room where they can keep their things.
Be a good mom and don’t tell them when something was left in the hotel room,
Just sneak it back in their duffle, they are only KIDS !
TRY THIS :
Every one has lots of bags in their house, strong paper bags from a SHOP,
canvas bags, endless bags that have been collecting somewhere, from the
toy shop , from a charity event......These bags will remain in your closet
forever unless you write a childs initials on them in sharpie, Hand the bag to
your child and tell them to collect their plane or car entertainment themselves.
Let them be completely incharge of it. Try to help them remember it and try to
praise the one who seems to bring it in and out of the car with them !
Make sure there is nothing in the bag that you would be concerned about lossing
because these are the lessons our children need in order to get ready to handle a
personal bag of luggage and travel with you as an active family member !
Enjoy your next vacation and comment on how it works for you !
Friday, February 26, 2010
11:00am We will depart!
The snow clothes that were not shipped to COLORADO for our spring break are already
laid out by the front door and everyone knows that there is no computer until we return !!
Sausage McMuffins with Eggs and Chocolate chip pancakes.chocolate milks for everyone
with a counter filled of fruits and fiber cereals!
The children have settled into their morning PJ day and
I set up Videos Playing on the DVD player from 2007, only three years ago. I have an audience
of the six year old, the four year old, the ten year old and the twelve year old.
Children need to remember events that are part of your family and see them over and over.
That is how memories are made.
Children also need to see that in three years they have changed so much. As I watch the Videos
it still amazes me how much three years has grown onto my family.
I have a friend who started an amazing company called First Person Video** where she documents biographies of parents and grandparents which can be played for children over and over so its not just holidays where you learn about your families.
I immediately texted my husband when he appeared on the video giving a speach to my ten year old. How nice to see him on the video.....He should be giving a speach to all his sons....it should be video recorded. I thought of new questions when I take out my video I will ask as I see friends trying hard to put together sweet 16's and Bar and Bat Mitzvah and confirmation party videos......and one day weddings...
How nice would it be to ask your four year old every year about what will be do in his family one day ........About love.........and all the questions that one will laugh at through the years !
How nice would it be to have an ongoing oral history of whats going on in our family
taken once a year
Or of our grandparents who live in Florida so we can get to know who they are?
Video Memories are live and important. As important as taking the pictures out of your camera
and putting them into books, once you take the videos yourself, they need to be easily accessible.
For anyone whose on the computer a lot and savy, its simply plug in the video camera, download the film, and burn it onto a disc, write sharpie on the disc the date and find an old DVD movie
no one watches anymore, remove the paper from behind the plastic showing the DVD movie
and turn it around. On the back is white and ready for labeling!
Now get a storage container from any container store, label VIDEOS that can house these DVD
cases you have created.
A school play video, a camp video, you already have a lot around the house.
Just start putting them in the same cases and you have a collection !
For those who are less computer savy....my favorite is the DVD recorded . I love this
video recorder because you record DIRECTLY ONTO small DVDs which are immediately
finalizedand can slip right into your DVD player. For Immediate View!
Now if your the type of person who will splice the video you take from your camera into
a program like MOVIESTUDIO and add some itunes, then you will probably want the
same professionalism from FIRST PERSON VIDEO for your family histories !
Enjoy your memories......Forever !
Thursday, February 25, 2010
To share and LISTEN to friends and people around me asking me things to blog about.
Bringing up topics that people want to hear about.
I cannot attempt to write about raising six children in New York City without touching on the
Subject of Private School Admissions. For this is the season which dreams are made of.
On every corner, within the walls of my nursery schools, at the hair dresser this morning,
There is only one topic on everyone’s mind! Will I get into the private school I want, will I
Be cleared from the waitlist!
Now there are some of you who instead have chosen real estate wisely and live within the
Districts where some of the most amazing public schools are in the world. Where the teachers’ salaries are higher and the PTA ensuring a super high level of parent involvement.
Eight years ago I remember that the carpet besides my bed was worn from
Being so big and pregnant with my fourth child and praying every night that I would get into the
School I know was the ONLY school for me, my son, my family……and my prayers were answered.
What I can say is that my feelings have never changed or waivered about the school I attend!
It is amazing to ponder how many hours your children spend in school. If I have the daily number and multiply it my six to get the cumulative number to figure how many hours a week each child has interactions with people in the school community……its incredible.
Today I hear someone tell me that one of their twins got accepted to one school and the other did not. Who would think that if something presented to a family to deal with anywhere else in the world but NEW YORK CITY for Kindergarten.
I have a friend who moved out of New York City and wants to move back in but cannot because
She doesn’t have any spaces at any schools.
I have a friend who was asked to leave a school and then told its ok you can stay.
I have a friend who has applied four years in a row to change schools to the same school and finally got in.
My oldest son announced to me this year in seventh grade that he is going to not join any after school activities; he is going to only focus on his studies. He said because his seventh grade reports will be used to apply out to ninth grade in eighth grade.
I said to him “Hmm... What school do you want to attend for high school?”
He said; “I don’t know yet but I know that all the high schools take at least two people
From our school and if I want to go to the school I want then I must have the best grades”
I asked: “Well that does going to a great high school mean to you,”
He answered” Well if I go to a good High School then I’ll get into a good college
(This is my seventh grader) ( ???A good college??)
I asked if he know what he wanted to practice doing in his life that he would study in a good college….and what was a good college to go to ?and he had no idea. I said how can
You think about a college unless you have an understanding of what you want to study.
I let him know that I did not have a life path set out for him. I let him know I liked his ideas
It gave me a chance to also let him know he could
Travelling and figuring out what his passions are!
I attended a great seminar my Sir Kenneth Robinson who states the new statistics about
College degrees and the guarantee of successful employment.
I am all for college but I am also all for my children being happy TODAY and being critical thinkers
Keeping in mind the perspective of where the information is forming from in their minds! Want them to set their own paths where they will be most successful.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
how you can acknowledge them yet not completely dismiss them
Your childrens feelings ARE their feelings.
When the 12 year old wanted to give up on something, or not even try to do it
at all he only said,
" I just dont want to."
Have you ever gotten this ?
Well, raising six children in New York City, I ran across a seminar given my Wayne
Dryer at the Jacobs Javits Center called "EXCUSES BEGONE."
I knew the seminars time was a late start on a school night, but i bought two
tickets and we went !
I went full of vigor and I dragged by son in tow.
I explained how there might be a magic angel of some sort that stands up on the
stage infront of you and waives his wand and announces:
EXCUSES BEGONE.... and any excuses you can
come up with for not being successful will be overcome !
At least it was worth it to see why he sold out 1000 tickets for a one night seminar!
I printed out the list of excuses from one I found on the internet from a past seminar and
I offered my son 5 points on his point chart for every excuse he can have memorized
before the event.
Here were the excuses:
Im not strong enough
Im not old enough
There will be a family drama
Im too scared
Im too busy
I dont have enough energy
The rules wont let me
It not my nature
Its going to be too risky
It has never happened before
I dont deserve it
It will take too long
Im not smart enough
It will be too difficult
No one will help me
He was the youngest attendee, and there was no magic wand. But I showed my son I
believed in him, enough to know he can overcome and will be a successful adult one day and thats why we were there.
We left early, he earned a lot of points (which havent been spent on anything yet) and
was successful in his challenge !
In New York City there are so many amazing things to complement all the children are doing. or not doing....Even if its just the botinical gardens to support smell in nursery school programs
or the MET to suppose the study of an art program in middle schools or Othello playing
at the Duke Theatre on 42nd street to support on upper school play reading.
Mommy Wommy says take advantage of it all !!!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Lifeskills is the subject every mother teaches their children. Whether you
know it or not they are watching. Just like my four year old who uses his
teeth to open the fruit roll up, they are watching.
When we travel on an airplane most of the times the agent
at the check in counter is sensitive to the fact that I am travelling
with six children and she will try to put us as close together as possible
but there are times that is not the case.
What is more likely to happen is that my four year and and my six year
old are next to me the other four chidren are spread out throughout the
Needless to say, they dont like this too much and there is not a lot I can do about it.
SO i checked out my frequent flyer points systems with my credit card companies and
the points that my husband racks up for business travel and I created a contest to
get everyone what they want !
I printed out a contest bulletin and handed it out to the
13 -12 -10 -8 year old and here is how it works
THE WINNER OF THE CONTEST WILL GET TO SIT IN FIRST CLASS (on frequent Flyer upgrade points ) ON OUR SPRING BREAK TRIP TO COLORADO FOR SKIING !
The contest allows a one way first class ticket. I might only need to upgrade one ticket and i can hand the boarding passes to my children for one way one child and one way a second child if only two children were to complete the tasks !
THE CONTEST was printed as a bulletin and handed out to everyone two weeks in advance of our trip and looks like this:
One first class seat to Colorado if you can learn the following Life Skills
*LAUNDRY Must have knowledge of how to wash whites and
darks and how to use the dryer
*DISHWASHER Loading and unloading and where the plates
and items get put away
*MAKE BREAKFAST completely for yourself (eggs,cereal, toast)
*MAKE BEDS Properly with tucked in sheets
*CAN USE THE SEWING MACHINE and Make a simple pillow
Right now the 8 year old is winning but there is still time left on the contest !
Monday, February 22, 2010
I got the phone call that he was in the cab heading up York Avenue from the FDR drive.
I got the children dressed in their finest clothes, sport jackets, pinkest, puffiest dress,
all hair combed and greased back. I had the children standing infront of the building in size order
waiting to greet their father home from his business trip.
Their father, who left the nest of love to go out into the world and support his family.
Needless to say I love my husband as a man and I am proud of his accomplishments as
A provider, something that is a lesson that we are teaching our children, to be proud and
successful providers for themselves....and to be complete enough themselves to be able
to support our future families of the next generation.
I was asked by a close family friend to write a blog about what I do. How I make and I quote
"the role a mother plays in teaching the kids to idolize their Dad and how in turn that helps solidify and strengthen the core family and the future families that are created by the kids."
Fathers Day is coming. The children need you to support Fathers Day and make it a successful event. Planning early for special treasures that can be collected and created and be displayed in his office takes time. The time is now ......
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Is this fun? You know that the end result will produce a fun activity because you know that you can show your children a great day, you are the mom....and with dad along together they will
have a good time.
But in my house, there are six children of different ages and they all do not always want to
be together for a full day family outing.
Here is where you have to make certain decision and weigh the importance of the event,
what you really have planned for the day, and the input of your children.
I find that if a family outing is planned for a saturday or sunday advance notice is
important. The children, whatever age they are, need to be aware that an event is being planned for them for the weekend and that they will be expected to participate.
This allows the children to have a voice in what they wanted to accomplish over the weekend and make sure that you hear what they want and try to help them achieve it.
We create a weekend event calender EVERY WEEKEND. This is a white piece of paper
we hang in a central location (the closet door where the money/point chart is kept). We have
a line drawn down the center of the paper and it says on top SATURDAY/ SUNDAY.
First I put in the sports events, basketball games, flag football games, baseball practice,
that the children are participating in. Then I add any birthday parties.
On the botttom I write things children have asked me for during the week that have not been done yet. My four year old asked for raisins, my thirteen year old asked for printer ink
for his homework printer thats running low, my ten year old wanted to open a bank account
and transfer money from his money chart/point chart and see if he can earn interest. My
twelve year old needs a new binder for school, my eight year old wanted a sequel book to the Lightening Theif Movie and my six year old needs nail polish remover.
When I see that there is a chance to take children out individually and have special time
all day long one on one and take care of all these things, i might not plan a full day family outing.
I make sure to let the kids know that I see that have enough things booked and with the errands needed we wont have a family outing this week, but maybe next week. I let them know that I recognize the importance of what they want done over the family outing.....but also by letting them know this, make the day I do book the family outing IMPORTANT for it to be attended
by everyone !
When I take a child out to accomplish their errand with them, I make sure to mark the errand off on the weekend chart while they are around. This makes the chart more IMPORTANT. This makes them see the chart means something and action is taken from the chart. This makes
the children want their items on the chart and therefore the chart becomes more useful to everyone.
Good luck with your weekend charts ! Have a great weekend !
Friday, February 19, 2010
My formula is to keep trying to make it work......keep trying to make it nice,
happy, right....As long as you set your intention on a nice family dinner, it can
My Thirteen year old introduced us to this last year. Whatever religion you are
this is a chance to share with your family that you are grateful for something.
At minimum you can just be grateful to be offered a meal (even if it is a yucky one)
Mostly I try to use this example of giving thanks as a chance to teach. As a chance for
children to understand that everyone can have something to be grateful for. I am grateful my teacher called on me today, I am grateful I had a playdate, I am grateful.. How it becamecalled a popcorn prayer is that one person starts and goes around the table and everyone pops something that they are grateful onto the prayer.
Bring candles to your family dinner table and dim the lights if you can, not too much
maybe just unscrew one or two lightbulbs in the room to make a statement. Light a few candles.
Kids see candles at the table for birthdays......they already know that it means an occassion,
the occassion is Dinner Time and you are important enough for me to make it a candle dinner night !
I love shopping for conversations cards. On top of the Piano in my dining room I have several boxes of conversational cards which I purchase mostly at book stores. Once a child can read youknow how much fun they have in reading fortune cookies. The concept is the same but the conversational cards ask obscure questions that spark silly answers......They make people laugh and I like to bring together six children and have laughter.
I take a card and place it on everyones plate. For the children who cant read, I read theirs to them in their ears and they laugh for me and share with their siblings !
How the table looks is important to kids.....as important as it is to you. When you arrive at
a table with flowers, with a nice folder paper napkin, with ice in the cups, it feels important!
THREE PLATES ARE BETTER THAN ONE
One of my greatest tricks to make take out/delivery food more exciting is offering up three desert plates in front of each child instead of one dinner plate. Usually deliveries like Chinese Food offer more than one choice for people to select and its fun to have more than one plate infront of you to seperate your food in!
Have Fun with your dinner activities and share with us a comment
of one of your favorite dinner routines !
Just the words "DINNER TIME" bring about so many emotions for a mom, especially for a mom raising six children in New York City.
Dinner Time is an ever changing time in our house. It is a time where a great deal of effort goes into so many different areas. Though the format which we share dinner time is ever changing,
there is ALWAYS dinner time.
What is dinner time..................the TIME for dinner
Here is where I must stand firm on the VALUES on what makes us a family on what is unwavering. WE MUST ALL JOIN TOGETHER AT A predesignated time which everyone
knows is going to happen every night.
Everyone in my house knows that we eat dinner early. This is an issue for some of the kids, one where I understood from them why we had to change our dinner time .When we started this school year in September we changed our dinner time to 5:30pm.
Last year we ate dinner at 4:45pm, in order to avoid the snacking rush which comes when the children arrive home from school. I thought that if I could get a good meal in to their bodies while they are super hungry then they can snack later.
I did get a good meal into their bodies and I still believe in this idea, however I compromised with my children. At 4:45pm the house was filled with playdates. I listened to several of the reasons why they did not want to have dinner at 4:45pm but the one that made most sense wasthey did not want to have dinner be a part of the time they spent with their friends.
I understood that it was unfair to my children to have their playdates all join our dinner table. I had a great deal of fun and so did the playdates. The friends of their friends for the most part enjoyed being part of a BIG FAMILY FULL OF KIDS dinner. Picture now if a sixth grader, third grader and fourth grader all had friends over my dinner table would be 10 people.
Set in a large dining room with platters of food to serve 10 people., NINE of those people
would be under the age of Fourteen.
One activity we would always do when friends joined us for dinner was everyone had to share something with everyone at the table, and the friends started. Sometimes we would pass a ketchup bottle as the microphone, who ever was holding the ketchup was allowed to talk and
it was passed around.
I hope that my children will remember their 4:45pm dinners last year and be proud of the
experiences we had with friends at the dinner table but times change, children get older and
you move dinner down to 5:30pm.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
I have not come forth to encourage my children into a world of conformity or sameness.
I understand that in conformity there is not the diversity that
And that in focusing on bringing about conformatity I am pointing to
An ending and not a continuing. ^
I went to a book club where Deborah M. Roffman, author, offered a handout which I would like to share with you here:
“Nurturing is a Five Piece Suit” (in part)
Understanding and honoring your child’s unique developmental stage and providing UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for who the child is
Providing alternative points of view and promoting critical thinking
3. CLARITY ABOUT VALUES
Naming the values you want your children to value; SPEAKING MORE about values then rules.
4. LIMIT SETTING
Making sure clear and age appropriate boundaries are firmly in place and being prepared to negotiate limits when appropriate as children mature
5. ANTICIPATORY GUIDANCE
Helping children anticipate WHAT IFS; helping them walk through
In advance situations they may face
Turning children gradually over to themselves
^Ester and Jerry Hicks the Law of Attraction
Monday, February 15, 2010
sign up your child to a class and when it comes time for that class your
child does not want to attend.
There are many senerios to this same question, whether its a one day
mini camp or its a longer commitment to a organization, a team or a program.
This morning my four year old did not want to attend his SUPER SOCCER STARS
morning mini camp.
I said to him " I hear that you are saying that you dont want to go to SUPER SOCCER
STARS today but I dont hear why you are saying that. Why is or equals " what are you feelings
that is making you say you dont want to go"
(Being agry that he has a feeling is not a good response though it is so natural for most
mothers to just feel angry that their child doesnt want to comply to the program)
I immediately take out the itinerary of what activities they will be doing and review them
to help my FOUR ( remember he is 4 ) Year old.
I read about the snack time and the snacks they will have, and i say
"OH it must be that you dont like the snack, is that why?"
and he says, no I like those snacks
"Oh I say it must be the dancing before dismissal you dont like, is that why?
and he says no I like the dancing
(notice also how I jump right to something he already knows is before dismissal
to make it seem like the program we are talking about is shorter in time then he might think when he remembers the snack and dismissal part)
I stop there, thats enough chances for us both to hear there is a chance that he
can have a good time.
Then I continue to say that he is filled up with love from his mommy and daddy and
we feel this is a good program for you to have fun in or we would not have picked it
together last week !
Sometimes he will have things he doesnt want to do on his schedule and I share with
him how that happens to me too sometimes.
I kiss him into his soccer program after I walk him over in his stroller and I tell him
how proud I am of him giving today a new chance !
NOW it doesnt always work this way.............................................. Heres what happened with my
10 year old who committed to a weekend basketball team.
After agreeing to sign up for a weekend basketball team, he realized that his basketball game times were between 9am and 11am on Saturday Morning. This was the first problem for the child but I helped out by making the commitment to go to EVERY SATURDAY game with him and stay and watch however early it started.
Then he went to about three or four weeks worth of games and not knowing anyone on his team
and not having any practices with his team mates, he felt completely left out of the basketball
games because he wasnt exactly sure how he was going to get the ball, who was going to pass it to him, and what exactly he should do with it when he got it.
He expressed his desire to learn how to play the game but not be forced into these saturday games he didnt like.
He wrote a letter to his coach explaining that he needed to resign from the team and shared
his real feelings why.
He had to use his money/point chart points to pay back the family for the remaining registration fee from the program and
He agreed to join a Basketball program where he can learn the sport that he really wants to play well !!!
As soon as my 13 year old agrees to let me share the story of FOOTBALL, This blog will be on the way to a book !!!
Good luck and comment !
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Some classrooms promote creating valentines for their classmates and exchanging them but what will you do in your family!
I announced a contest last night "Who ever can make the nicest valentine for Mommy will have first pick at the valentines chocolate hearts which I have displayed in my home office. I have several different hearts, in several different sizes, one for every child"
I announced that if they dont feel like breaking out the scissors and crayons to create a valentines day heart that I would accept a Poem, A Rap, A Collective effort as well !
It was meant to be. When I was making coffee this morning I reached for you a tissue and the tissue box was empty. I removed teh empty tissue box and had a VALENTINES DAY MAILBOX.
I covered the box with white copy paper and I noticed the staples wrapper the white paper was being held in was red and white. I cut red hearts out of the red wrapper paper and
taped them on. I wrote with a sharpie "FAMILY VALENTINES DAY BOX"
I went around to each child and told them that this is our valentines day mailbox and after you put a valentine on the box for everybody, we will celebrate valentines day.
Everyone wants a celebration, whatever it may mean. The children are smart enough to
support eachother to help push them along to get to the celebration. The celebration might be
a chance to listen to what their wishes are. You can grant them a wish for valentines day.
I asked my eight year old this morning what would be his valentines day with and he said
to stay home all day !
Now the 4 the year old is working with the 10 year old (who already finished). The 6 year old is working and the 8 year old will participate but when he is finished doing what he is doing.
Will the 12 and 13 year old get involved? What matters is that they are part of a family who is getting involved and they are making choices. For me as a mother, the knowing that this is what this family does and the good feelings around it are enough involvement.
I have red paper and valentines day suppplies laid out on the dining room table with materials needed to support their efforts.
How will this day be different than other days .......................well thats up to you !
Happy Valentines Day
Friday, February 12, 2010
As I lay here on a sled, in the park, central park, the most amazing park in the world Iknow I am so lucky to have so many chances to get it right!
Watching my youngest child explore the snow I give him spaceSpace he needs to feel the sun andCreate....just as I am doing at the same time now creating my blog, my book!
My dog running around us freely until someone kindly expressed their children are scared of the dog...I immediately leash him and give a thumbs up!And I know how lucky I am to have this opportunity in my life to be a positive life giving force andto respond to the needs of six children and use the resources in one of the best cities in the world!
Responding or reacting is one of the most important struggles I want to remain in my life because I want to remain aware that there is a difference.Just the other day I was guiltily of reacting to a situation in a way that was impulsive.I can't take back my reaction but I still have a chance to respond.This example can apply to any mother with any number of situations raising any age child.At night, when I get my last chance of the day, when I say goodnight I will apologize for reacting and ask"How should I feel when you do that?”
There are several child rearing books that I have read recently, two which highlight the RESONDING vs REACTING approach ; “How to Hug a Porcupine” by Julia A. Ross, and “Parent Teen Breakthrough by Kirshenbaum and Foster.
In both these books there are great suggestions on how to ask questions that build bridges instead of walls. Reading these books helps give one the tools that they might need to respond better in situations instead of reacting to them:
Page 63 of Parent/Teen Breakthrough presents the following guidelines:
Your child insists on doing something you don’t approve of: DON’T REACT, RESPOND
“Why is this so important to you?”
Your child acts in a way that makes no sense to you:
“How do you want me to think about what you are doing?
Your child completely shuts you out: DON’T REACT and GET MAD, RESPOND AND ASK
“What can I do to help you?
Remember, responding and not reacting offers unconditional love when your child needs it most!Try today to respond to one thing differently and tell me how it feels !
Thursday, February 11, 2010
a dollar and needed it to be recorded.
The Money Chart is a chart that is made of 8 1/2 X 11 inch plain white copy paper. There
is each child name (or in our case for space purposes, the first letter of their name) across
the top and lines vertically down seperating the names into columns.
The Money Chart is used to earn ANY money in the house.
The Money Chart is used for money that comes into the house like in a
aunts Birthday card or gift card.
The Money Chart is used to record allowances for jobs, ANY money at all that
belongs to the child is recorded on the money chart.
NOW the same works for money being deducted from the Money Chart.
If the older children want to purchase a song on itunes, they have to deduct
the $1.00 from the money chart.
If someone is crying for something that you dont want to purchase for them they
know that they have the power to use their own money on the money chart to buy it.
This has become an amazing motivator in our house for people to earn money for their
money charts towards understanding not only their independance, but their ability to
control many of their situations.
We have a strong rule put into place that the MONEY CHART does not allow the children
to change the foundations which we have in place.
We are at the checkout counter at the deli and your child wants to purchase something
they see under the register. You are not purchasing it for them as you dont feel you need to buy something every time they see it, you dont have enough money to waste for this item, you dont feel they should have this junk, whatever the reason may be......they want to use their MONEY CHART points to get it.
Well in these cases you have to apply the same RULES and FOUNDATIONS of your family and house with the understanding also that it is VERY empowering for your children to use their MONEY CHART points when they can. I repeat when they can. Most children do not have many opportunities to purchase things so it is natural for them to want to use their money chart points whenever they can. I always try to devert their need to buy junk by offering them other
How we do that is spend time discussing something we are saving for, planning on. I am very proud of my third son who saved up money for almost a year to purchase a gold coin, a very small gold coin, a very very small one. But let me add there isnt a day when he comes home from school and doesnt find out what the price of gold is !!!
The money chart allows the children to create agreements with eachother. If they want to
make a fair trade, or have a service provided from another sibling, they need to write up
agreements which each child has to sign and either MOMMY or DADDY sign. The agreements
that they write up are simple and hung up under the money chart. When the trade is completed
after about a week we take down the agreement file it to refer to it in case a SITATUON comes up!
The money charts are also used to create responsibility and accountability. If something
get broken in the house that could have been avoided, their mony chart points are deducted to replace this item .
Another added bonus feature is we talk about money in POINTS and thats really nice
to me !
Good Luck with your POINT CHARTS !
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
*I laid out the snow clothes; six piles across the floor ready for everyone to get
*I checked tat everyone has boots that fit and those that dont will get the double pairs of wool socks with their sneakers. An old trick is the plastic bag between the two socks so the feet dont feel wet !
*I made sure to visit the local supermarket for marshmellows to float in all the hot chocolates.
I purchased large hot cups for the children and enough paper plates to use all day in the kitchen.
I also purchased an oversized bag of chicken nuggets, brocolli florets and french fries to be able to serve everyone if needed. (they wont go to waste in my house.)
*After Visiting Models and seeing every sled sold out I continued up third avenue into the 110-118th street looking for floration devises which I can blow up as sleds and successfully secured 4 of them (for about $8/00 each) giving me 7 sleds in total (three I had in storage)
*I sent an email out to about 5 friends in each persons grade(30 people) to advise them that we will be at CEDAR HILL at 9:30am and everyone is welcome back to our home after the sledding for lunch and a warm up playdate.
*I also reached out this morning to let people know that I have a lot of extra snow clothes
and if anyone wanted to come over early and pick some up, they would be in a large basket
by my door to share!
*Before I leave the house this morning I am covering the floors with old towels so when friends arrive there is enough places for wet clothes and I have nothing to worry about.
*I have laid out paper, crayons, glue, and arts and craft supplies across the dining room table on a tablecloth for the younger crowd to have a sit down craft to enjoy when I walk in the door and I am gonna be busy getting everyone undressed and redressed.
*I have made sure the ipod dock is ready for Good Feeling Music to be playing while we are
getting dressed and heading out the door !
*I have a college student who is off school too coming to help me with the 4 and 6 year old
as they might not be able to stay outside as long as the other children with the wind and snow.
This is important as I dont want to take away from the four other children the fun if the younger ones are ready to leave.
*I have a backpack pre-packed with extra gloves incase some of the waterproof ones I have
areant waterproof. I also have drinks and extra chap stick.
TIP: If your child doesnt want to wear something that you know he/she needs, let it go but bring it with you. Offer it to them when you think they need it and HOLD BACK saying I told you so,
you are the parent, you already know that!
TIP: There are not that many SNOW DAYS in New York City and here is your chance to make
this SNOW DAY a MEMORY that the children will never forget. PACK THE CAMERA in a zip lock bag, take tons of pictures , edit them , download then today, upload them into a photo book
auto fill them before you go to sleep and date the book FAMILY SNOW DAY FEB 10,2010
ENJOY AND MOST OF ALL, LAUGH WITH YOUR CHILDREN....THEY WANT TO LAUGH WITH YOU !
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
and you might too.
Sometimes I think I took so many pictures of my first born that I make sure everyone else has enough pictures too and it serves its purpose.
Sometimes I just feel how nice it would be to have more pictures to share with my children from my childhood.
Heres what I do:
Whenever our family has a break that is more than a week, Spring Break, Summer Break and Winter Break I create photo/story books.
Living in New York City we are prone to travel during these breaks to expose our children to different lifestyles, surroundings and experiences.
Where ever we go I travel with a small picture printer from Best Buy, nothing fancy, inexpensive, and it takes up about as much room in the suitcare as a hairdryer would. I also travel with small paper books, like those they sell at Target in the $1.00 section when you enter the store and they have less than 20 pages in them. Each book has the name of one of my six children written on it.
Every day on the vacation I have a picture in my camera of either one of the children alone, with a sibling or a group picture.
I print the pictures at the end of the day, I just print six, if its a group picture I print one picture six times, or I will designate six different picture to print
from the photo card which you take out of your camera and put into the printer.
Some printers allow you to hook up a wire from your camera directlty to your
printer and you select the picture you want to print that way.
Then with double stick tape I tape the picture into the coordianting book and write
two or three lines about the moment.
Start off simple, dont try to write a story. I just picked up the lastest books I did from last summer while writing this blog.
Here are some of the pages that have coordinating pictures for my eight year old.
PICTURE "This is you with your brothers roasting mashmellows"
PICTURE "I love fishing on the dock with you"
PICTURE "You were so excited when you caught that fish"
PICTURE "Plantation Dinner with Dad"
PICTURE "Remember when you were so nervous to Kayak"
These books go into the childrens TREASURE BOXES and are a great special time activity to have them go through their treasure boxes and read these books.
It is amazing how much more connected everyone feels to each picture.
If you continue to download all the pictures from the trip into the FAMILY TRIP
BOOK that you create when you return home, fabulous memories will be created
both for your children to remember in their Photo Story Books that they will see again
in your FAMILY TRIP BOOK.
I have to give you the most important tip of all. You have to forget about the past, forget about the hundreds of pictures on your camera card. Just download them into one Shutterfly or such album and call them assorted with the dates. Forget about all the pictures in boxes. Let them stay there. It is so difficult to begin and recall information from past pictures.
You have to start fresh and start small !
You might take this to another level like I have. Now I have found through searching the internet companies who have printed me photo story books with my childrens names imprinted on them. Each child has their own color book. The page of the left is blank for the picture, the page on the right has six lines triple spaced on it and they measure 6 X 8 for a 4 X 6 picture.
Good Luck with your photobooks and its almost SPRING BREAK !!! Great time to test this out!. Let me know how it goes for you!
Monday, February 8, 2010
which is my 10 years olds
Special time day and we have
a dentist appointment.
It might not seem like much of a special time but in order to stick strictly to the schedules of special times one must be practical and creative at the same time.
I prepare myself for the waiting room with questions; quiz book
or trivia card decks. Sometimes I hold my phone and create a survey
of the latest update on this child
which would look something simply like;
Favorite play in the super bowl ?
Favorite thing to do on the weekend
Favorite Ice Cream
Favorite School Subject today
Summer destination what do you think about it
When you think of adventure what do you think about
At the next appointment I will try to have these items memorized!!! This will keep the child motivated to play this game again.
Endless games are available where you get; a box, a deck of questions, a board and a piece to move around when you are right.
I keep the deck of cards and carry them around in my purse. If your child gets the answer right, let him keep the card and save it to ask daddy or siblings at dinner to see if they know the answers!
Its very empowering to win the ability to have an audience and to share again the good feeling u get when u get the answer right and u get to be the one to now ask the question !
Choice decks of cards that your child can be successful at Sports Trivia if he knows many sports facts.
I feel raising six children in New York City
everyone needs their chance to shine....at every opportunity they can.
Endless books on questions to ask and quizzes u can give your children are available from amazon.com.
One of my favorite which I have today is American girl quiz books
which u can tailor for a boy or a girl. These types of books score your answers and tell your child a silly fortune based upon their score!
Have fun at your next doctor’s appointment
Sunday, February 7, 2010
TRIP OUT OF THE CITY FOR A NIGHT AND SKI FOR A DAY
Great Wolf Lodge Located a little over an hour door to door
Near the Delaware Water Gap. I suggest strongly a
Sunday night stay. You can ski CAMELBACK on Monday
And pre-sign up for a full camp day at Camelback Mountain
THE GREAT WOLF LODGE IS A 100,000 SQUARE FOOT WATER PARK
that is am amazing fun either before a day of skiing or
Selena Gomez From wizards of Waverly place, a favorite now for
kids 6-10 is playing an early show at 6:00pm at the
Gramercy Theatre. Make sure to tell the kids in advance
you are only staying for 5 songs and anything after that
is gravy !
ART FARM IN THE CITY Ages 2-6 Sells stop in passes for the 15th and 16th
419 East 91st for the Holiday Days Off 212-410-3117
9-3 and 12-3 programs
SIMPLY SPORTS Grades k-7th Have several amazing sports programs
220 East 76th Going on at Wagner Gym both full day
9-3 and half day 12:30pm-3:00pm
You will definitely see some of my kids
SUPER SOCCER STARS Ages 2-6 Has full day and mini day camps located
Either at 92nd street Y or PS 6
VISION MEDIA Ages 3-9 Offers LEGOS and ROBOTICS
38 East 23rd Full and half day programs
POLICE CAMP Ages 6-12 Kids will learn law
at the New York City enforcement,solving mysteries,csi
Police Museum 212-480-3100
THINGS TO TAKE YOUR KIDS TO SEE:
*Scandinavia House interactive for the 1-4 age group 58 Park at 38th Street
*The Lightening Thief opens February 12
*How they make chocolate and take home a chocolate syringe at Max Brenner
841 Broadway at 13th 212-388-0030 (you can also order kid friendly lunch here)
OR STAY HOME AND WATCH THE OLYMPICS
Sunday February 14 at 4:30pm is Figure Skating on NBC
Monday February 15 at 10:30am starts snowboarding on NBC
Please know there are a so many things to do in New York City and I am not a guidebook, these are the things I will be doing with RAISING MY SIX CHILDREN IN NEW YORK CITY over Presidents Day Long Weekend
See you there Friends !
will have is the memories that you create while you are
These are the memories you can recall at Holiday Dinners
and the ceremonies that your family has FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES.
Memories are also created while you are living in the moment.
Here is what we do:
When I take a child out for a special time activity and I bring
my camera, I make a point for us to take pictures of certain activities
that we are doing together.
I share with them the pictures in my camera at the end of the day and I edit them together with this child so they are reminded of the memory we created.
Before I go to sleep, I download the pictures into the computer, which takes about 5 minutes, then I download the pictures into a SHUTTERFLY, KODAK, or AMERICAN GREETINGS
site which is Super easy to do but takes about an hour for every 50 pictures so its great to wake up in the morning with the file completed.I make time during the week to create a photobook of the events. Sometimes my special time is doing the album together. All you need in 16 pictures for a simple cloth covered photo book and about 10 minutes to press auto fill with your pictures and make sure the pictures are all centered and press purchase.
When the book arrives in about a week I take a sharpie and write on the binder
the name of the child and the date.
When you enter my home in the foyer I have everyones books all labeled and available to look at EVERYDAY !! It is never too late to start.
One of the activities we do during rainy, lazy, special time days is pull out
all the books of that one child and remember the memories.
I have wooden boxes which I have had nameplaces made for. The name plates like you might see on someones desk in an office setting stuck on the boxes with doublestick tape. Inside each of the boxes might be a Needlepoint that I made with a child, playbill from a school play with a picture i took attached to it, a part of a cast
from an accident, a mothers day card, a special baby toy, that clay fingerpot,....
Remember when you change and update pictures from the frames around your house to
put the older pictures into the treasure box and not have them piling up and mixing up in boxes in the back of your closet.
My plans are that the treasure box and the books will become the memories of a
wonderful childhood which will remind my children how loved they were !
Saturday, February 6, 2010
CAN JUST "BE" WITH YOU.
This becomes MOST IMPORTANT when you children are in school full time and have a full schedule of activities. Heres what we do with six children:
My four year old knows I pick him up from his local nursery school everyday at Noon
so we have alone time, but we make it special time when we do a SPECIAL TIME activity
which for now is 1/Climbing Rocks in Central Park 2/Using the sewing machine together
Our last special time we sat down at the sewing machnie and the bobbin which holds the top thread to the lower thread was empty. I dediced to let him sew on even though the switch wasnt connecting, because it was in the good feeling of sewing that we were sharing a special time. It didnt matter that nothing was being made!
The distraction of me trying to make everything perfect would have taken away from
it being his special time activity.
My six year old knows that I pick her up every day at 2:30pm, one hour before her
older brothers finish school and she announced the SPECIAL TIME she wants to have based on the ones that have already been successful -A swing on the Tire in the Park // -A candy and a coffee shared anywhere we can sit and talk about the day // - Return to the home for a start of an arts and craft (which she will finish quietly while I head out again...... to pick up the other Four Children. 13,12,10 and 8 years old boys !
Monday is the 10 year olds day, it always has been,
-and we end up at le Pain sharing over something chocolate right before dinner
Wed or Sunday is when I get the 12 year old (based upon football season)
-and we walk around aimlessly in Times Square
Friday the 13 year old allows me to buy him lunch or sneak him off to a museum,
test out my lastest therories from my latest child/teen/puberty books
Saturday the 8 year old and I take out the dog before 9:00am off the leash in Central Park and we end of at the Boat House for breakfast !!! Its snowsuits for today !
Everyday we have dinner at the dining room table between 5:00pm and 5:30pm.
WATCH OUT FOR MY DINNER TIME BLOG
6:30pm is HOMEWORK TIME and for most of my children it is automatic drive
to retrieve the backpacks from the backpack closet and proceed to their
homework desks !
Everyday all computers in our house must be turned off by 8:00pm ALL internet.
(Jr high school homework has become an exception )
WATCH OUT FOR MY BEDTIMES BLOG
These special times and schedules are the core and roots of what our family does and what the children in the house can rely on. This is where one can feel themselves as ONE child with the benefits surrounded by being in the mix of SIX.
On our last special time with my daughter I found a needlepoint shop on 311 East 81st called WOOLWORKS and for a very small fee I purchase a needlepoint, two needles, all the thread I needed and got a lesson on how to needlepoint. My intention is to teach my daughter something new she is CAPABLE OF being successful at. I will not correct a stitch and the finish product will be dates and a keep sake in our life FORVER.
FOREVER AND TREASURE BOXES another blog
Friday, February 5, 2010
Whenever I meet people who dont know me, and lets say I am out with three
children, no one asks me if I have three more waiting at home. I dont volunteer
that I do and I enjoy a Fresh and New conversation without anyone holding back
their STORIES....cause they are just as important as mine...with six children.
Sometimes you cant be everywhere fast enough>>>>>>>
But a few tips on
CARS AND DRIVER:
*Chauffers Unlimited I have bene using for 10 years now, a service
that provides a driver for your car at an hourly reasonable rate.
*If you stand on Third Avenue between 730am-8:00am you can catch at least
10 drivers from CAR SERVICE COMPANIES heading uptown from downtown who would be happy to pick your children and you up at 7:45am and bring you to school round trip.
And you can make arrangements for them to work for you and pick you up at house
after you need them ! I have employed some great COLD WINTER MORNING drivers this way !
*You can go on Craigs list and type a job opp for DRIVER and put in the exact hours you are looking for someone to drive you car, that they have a license that you can check and your insurance can cover them. Then put in a salary and you will be surprised how many people are available.
You want also want to consider the driver parking the car in a garage that might
be less expensive since the driver will be picking it up and dropping it off.
The salary of the driver might be close to even with the saving of the garage !
*A few times I have rented a car and had the driver pick up the rental car and drop if off same day and it was a better experience that a private full day car service !
As soon as the sun begins to shine you can find me and my children riding our bikes to school !!!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
there ae four rows and room for luggage. There are enough seatbelts for a small class
to fit, however two in a row provides comfortable space to travel outside the city
for six children in the back.
My favorite companies are AAMCAR and ACTION CAR RENTAL. Both of these companies deliver straight to my front door the car that I need whenever I need it to head out of Manhattan.
Another favorite must item for car trips is the RADIO SHAK 350W INVERTER
which turns any cigarette lighter into a dual plug. That coupled with two extention cords heading to the back of the van allow the children to be completely plugged into their dvd players, computers, charging music players, etc...
Returning in the car from Smugglers Notch,VT
our favorite family starter ski vacation
(dont expect luxury here, but the best young ski programs and camps. I feel comfortable watching my 8 and 10 year old ski on their own down MORSE MOUNTAIN
as the ski lift is visable from our room which you ski into and sit in the chair at the dining room table to unhook your boots !)
So returning home in the E3500 Ford Van I start the car and
I announced to my children " KIDS I HAD THE BEST TRIP EVER WITH YOU !!!! YOU ARE
JUST THE GREATEST KIDS, I AM SO HAPPY TO HAVE SHARED A WONDERFUL SKI HOLIDAY TOGETHER AND I CANT WAIT FOR OUR NEXT ONE.
I also announced "IT IS GOING TO BE A LONG DRIVE HOME AND IT IS UNSAFE FOR ANYONE TO GET OUT OF THEIR SEATBESTS OR FOR THEIR TO BE ANY FIGHTING IN THE CAR AS IT DISTRACTS ME FROM DRIVING AND THAT PUTS YOU IN A UNSAFE POSITION.
I added SINCE I DONT WANT ANYONE TO BE UNSAFE, IF THIS BEHAVIOR HAPPENS I WILL
JUST PULL OVER TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND READ MY BOOK UNTIL YOU LET ME KNOW THAT
YOU ARE READY TO RETURN TO THE SAFE BEHAVIOR .....THEN ILL DRIVE AGAIN
After being clear that everyone understood this, I was tested. I pulled over to the side of the road, excused myself between the load commotion between the 13 year old and the 8 year old and let them know they can tell me when we are ready to continue.
The THEORY^ WAS THIS
*You watch the misbehavior of your children
*You feel bad
*You think you are feeling bad because of their behavior
but actually you are feeling bad because you are out of alignment with your
own desires which is more a match to a picture of happy children enjoying eachother
while you take them home from a wonderful trip on an 4 hour car ride.
If I pull the car over and not get upset with them (cause they are really not doing anything too bad anyway) and i stay connecting to who I am (and not become yelling to be quiet mommy) THIS will evoke less resistance from the children and effect
a better more positive overall situation and time in the car.
I can truly say, it worked...to a degree. It took us about two extra hours to get home, but when I arrived at home I was FRIENDS with all my children. I was in a good space with each one of them....even if they were not in a good space with eachother
From this position I can help them become in a better space with eachother !!
ENJOY YOUR LONG CAR TRIPS OUT OF NYC
^This Theory I was testing from from page 69 in the POWER OF EMOTIONS a book writen by Ester and Jerry Hicks
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
I took my 13 year old son and his friend to the GUGGENHEIM to LIFE IN PROGRESS.
I took them there to make them think .besides the fact that we live in NYC and there is an endless supply of learning materials here to LIVE, here was a great example to share.
LIFE IN PROGRESS is an exibit where you walk upwards through the GUGGEIMHEIN
MUSEUM and are received first my a Six year old child and asked a question, "What Does Progress mean to you" your answered are forwarded on upward to another 15 year old child and so on through the museum until your are at the top speaking with an 80's something person.
This exibit makes you think, and gives you a chance to have your child think. DO NOT walk up with your child as this defeats the purpose......but if you can extend the experience and head over to three guys on madison around the corner to talk about whatever it is they got out of the exibit you will have a great after school day.
Let me know what you think !
I was able to share with my son that everyone has their own reality and in life it
is important to be able to express your own and also listen to others without there
being a need to be right, just to be heard
Today I will take action on what I have known for so long.That the life I am living everyday in New York City with six children can offer so many people so much. The books that I read, the places that I go the endless lessons that I learn and the realities that each child is living and growing though can offer so many examples for parenting, taking risks and being happy
Today I attended a book club "Raising clildren who soar" with Susan Davies. Here is a book that is geared towards the parents who have nit yet realized that they are merely guides for thier children towards their independance and in this book club today I realize how important it is for mothers to SEE what their children are capable of and not what they (as parents) are capable of accepting
Enjoy the blog !