Do you respond to the situations that come up every day in caring for your child or do you react
As I lay here on a sled, in the park, central park, the most amazing park in the world Iknow I am so lucky to have so many chances to get it right!
Watching my youngest child explore the snow I give him spaceSpace he needs to feel the sun andCreate....just as I am doing at the same time now creating my blog, my book!
My dog running around us freely until someone kindly expressed their children are scared of the dog...I immediately leash him and give a thumbs up!And I know how lucky I am to have this opportunity in my life to be a positive life giving force andto respond to the needs of six children and use the resources in one of the best cities in the world!
Responding or reacting is one of the most important struggles I want to remain in my life because I want to remain aware that there is a difference.Just the other day I was guiltily of reacting to a situation in a way that was impulsive.I can't take back my reaction but I still have a chance to respond.This example can apply to any mother with any number of situations raising any age child.At night, when I get my last chance of the day, when I say goodnight I will apologize for reacting and ask"How should I feel when you do that?”
There are several child rearing books that I have read recently, two which highlight the RESONDING vs REACTING approach ; “How to Hug a Porcupine” by Julia A. Ross, and “Parent Teen Breakthrough by Kirshenbaum and Foster.
In both these books there are great suggestions on how to ask questions that build bridges instead of walls. Reading these books helps give one the tools that they might need to respond better in situations instead of reacting to them:
Page 63 of Parent/Teen Breakthrough presents the following guidelines:
Your child insists on doing something you don’t approve of: DON’T REACT, RESPOND
“Why is this so important to you?”
Your child acts in a way that makes no sense to you:
“How do you want me to think about what you are doing?
Your child completely shuts you out: DON’T REACT and GET MAD, RESPOND AND ASK
“What can I do to help you?
Remember, responding and not reacting offers unconditional love when your child needs it most!Try today to respond to one thing differently and tell me how it feels !