Monday, May 31, 2010
13 year old Head to Guest Room and check out his friends'IM's
12 year old Head to the Indian Room (den) and play XBOX
10 year old and 4 year old Are putting together all the IRON MAN
toys they got at WALMART on our stop driving home
8 year old Head to the back playroom
6 year old Organizing her markers in the library
Its completely peaceful here and now.
and its my chance to start the process on better communication with all my children.
Listening to Anthony Robbins "Live with Passion" audio discs in the car on the way home, I was fortunate enough to have the COMMUNICATION disc be the one I choose.
The entire car ride listened to Tony Robbins teach us that the goal to being a better communicator is to NEVER, NEVER questions someones intentions.
You can question their behavior but you can never questions their intentions.
You have to assume their intentions are good. They are your children. They are good.
There have been times when I have broken this rule....and now I have a chance to prove to my children by using better words that I might have broken this rule, but I dont want to break it ever again !
Another lesson we learned is that every situation has two sides. There is no benefit in making sure that you prove that the other person is wrong. From that position, what can they feel, how can they learn.
You can offer up your side of the situation......and eventually your influence will improve as your side continues to prevail.
Good luck in your communications !
Sunday, May 30, 2010
be able to participate in activities simultaneously that are age appropriate.
Without schedules I would be making one person happy at a time
....Which usually means the other people are being dragged around....or on idle
mode on their computer in the room.
And do I not bring their computers???? Being a good parent means recognizing
what makes me happy in my world isn't the same as what what's them happy in
their world and should I not allow their computers on their vacations
If it makes them happy ??
Being a good mom means pointing out how well they control their own computer
But what about when they choose to miss breakfast after the whole family left
for breakfast without them
What about making decisions that are not right on a family vacation
So I realize it comes down to the rules of the family vacation.
I learn I need to make clear the rules of the family vacation.
Kids, i will say, one rule of this family vacation
is we all go to the prepid breakfast together or between the hours
of 830-930am and In order to manage your own computer time, and in order to keep the schedules that are planned this is a rule you need to follow.
I am happy in life to be raising six children with my husband and have him today
help me grow and come to realize this new thought.
I will be clear on my rules and hope to be just as able to ask my children what
are their rules that I can help them with to make them have a better time !
Be a supermom today !
Friday, May 28, 2010
I have many friends who are getting ready to drive to the Hamptons, to the Shore and to their Conneticut Houses...
LETS REVIEW THE CAR PACKING CHECKLIST for my road Trip:
*Garbage Bag, tied up to the seatbelt holder serves as garbage bag and sick emergency bag
*Dc converter adapter to plug into cigarette lighter and converts cigarette lighter to two plugs. (from radio shak about $20.00)
*an extention cord to send to the back of the car for the kids to use.
*Phone charger (which I plug into second plug from coverter box)
*Headset or speaker phone system for talking safely while driving
*DVD players and headphones
*Sports Ice Pack bag filled with cold waters and juices
*Non Crummy Snacks like Fruit -- Fruit Rollups.
*EasyPass(Even if you rent cars you can still have your own easypass. I keep
Mone on my desk and make sure to travel with it for all road trips)
*Hand Sanitizer amd toilet tissue or napkins or wet wipes
I also make sure to pack Milk and Cookies incase we are forced to arrive somewhere late and there is no food to be gotten. It seems like Milk and Cookies are a memorable night time snack to serve in the room before we brush our teeth and retire for the night
Happy travels !
Thursday, May 27, 2010
All week has been just beautiful and I want to get out of the city and enjoy more of it.
Today I picked up the phone and contacted AAMCAR car rental located on West 96th street. They can deliver any car to your front door at reasonable rates with great flexibility. For me I am having them deliver us a 15 passenger van for Friday at 3:00pm.
I scrolled through Historic Hotels of New York and came across two OHEKA CASTLE in Hungtington, Long Island and SKYTOP LODGE near the Deleware Water Gap in PA.
I was thinking the traffic is worse heading EAST towards the hamptons so I choose SKYTOP LODGE
I have been to this destination before and have been able to secure a reasonable rate room as it includes breakfast, lunch and dinner in the dining room. Kevin, who runs the dining room secured a table for 9 for our family to eat our meals in (kinda like a cruise ship dining room this old fashion hotel. You sit at the same table with the same servers all weekend and tip at the end of the trip)
My boys will be thrilled to hear I have booked for them:
*Paint Ball a three hour session Saturday and Monday
*Laser Tag in an indoor arena
*Tennis tournment and Golf
*Family Hike to the Levitt Water falls and picnic
*Evening Childrens Banquet Dinner and Ice Cream Social after
*Evening Wii Tournment
*Bubble blowing Bonanza and afternoon tea for the six year old
We Will pack the Car Friday night and take off Early Saturday Morning
for a two night stay !
Just another idea of a trip with tons to do for all ages just a little over two hours from New York !
Enjoy your memorial day weekend !
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
I wonder how fast I can write this post before I have to rush off to help the kids for school, I am late and i am excited.
"Theres a land that I see where the children are free, take my hand come with me to this land.......to a land, where the children run free, to a land with a shining sea, to a land where you and me are free to be, you and me." Marlo Thomas
Now I was a pretty hip child as you might imagine.....and i remember dancing around or holding dear to my heart the FREE TO BE album. When i remember this music today
I remember the song "Its alright to Cry" being played when I was sad and needed to cry.To be free a yearning for in adolencense.
I borrow my sons (12) ipod every morning for my ride back from their school on my bike and I hear songs that speak of "shoes with no laces....(some in jail) Women who are b'tches, drink and smoke some more.....
I scroll around the ipod and I Notice that there is a SLEEP playlist and this list consists of classical music, bethoven, taylor swift, a gospel song.....and I am touched at the personality in this music and in my son!
I want to be touch enough to help make this the greater sounds in his life !
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
I notice the nasty face a pedestrian made this morning when my six year old, in crossing the street between blocks on her tricycle, got a little to close to her.
This nasty face....and snearing sound which came from her mouth spread a small evil germ to everyone around. To the other people also walking by, to me, feeling bad, a person in this world really can be brought so easily to a low place, by a bike riding child!
I wonder how these people are living ! Are they living completely without passion
that they can not see the joy in a child learning to ride a bike in New York City?
Is being kind being happy with your life, to offer love and kindness to another.
Then I thought of last night. Someone who helps out with laundry in our house, who always takes the summers off, asked is she can work this summer and make extra money.
I immediately thought I would love to help out this girl, as the world would be a better place if we all just helped out those around us.
She knows that there would be no laundry around as our family will be exploring America for the most part, but she wanted to straighten up the house and keep it
tidy and dust free while we are away.
My first reaction was, she has never dusted the rooms around the laundry room, while the laundry is running. But I am kind and I know it must be hard for this person to ask so I will invite them to come once a week during the summer to be kind !
I am kind to my children by being a good listener even when the eight year old wants to explain all 100 yu gi oh cards, I show interest and in share kindness, I hope to teach my children by my actions !
Teach your children kindness today !
Monday, May 24, 2010
The hardest thing to do as a mother is release control. Its not only the control you have on the freedoms you give your children, it’s the control you have on what you want to do…..with them.
Relationships offer so much to you, but we all know that relationships involve giving as well as receiving and the ultimate gift you can give to your children is releasing control!
I am trying this simple exercise this morning! I want to go to the Lex coffee shop for breakfast with one child. Its sweet, fast and easy for a nice morning breakfast.
This same child wants to go to a diner which takes forever to receive your food. I really don’t want to go there……but I'm getting up now and I'm going to take him there.
Be a supermom today
Sunday, May 23, 2010
In the world of blackberry’s and computers the idea of a countertop recipe box might seem a bit out of place, a kitchen counter top index card filing cabinet of
*Friends Numbers and Addresses
*Addresses, dates and location of Sports Classes
*Pharmacy Number and address
*You are on the phone with your doctor to call in a prescription and he asked the name and number of your pharmacy. At the same time you want to tell someone to go there in 20 minutes to pick something up. Can you do all these things at the same time on your phone?
*You forget exactly on what street that soccer class is on and you have to tell someone 75th? Or 76th? Street.
*Your children want playdates, they can read, but we can’t expect them to have their friends numbers call them up and schedule in their calendars these playdates?
Prepare for September:
Peel and Stick Labels of your class lists can be printed. Then Peel and stick your children’s friends onto an index card and use the back to write phone numbers. Your children can pull out the index cards and hand you the people he needs you to contact.
Pre pare for Summer Classes:
When you confirm a class for your child in New York write the dates the program starts and ENDS and the location of where the class is taking place. Write a phone number for booking any makeup’s and the address. Write the “shirt color is any” for the uniform as a reminder.
Prepare for Deliveries, Services,Docters:
Prepare index cards for necessarily for yourself (though you don’t always have your blackberry in the kitchen, do you?)
Save Time Later
Become more Efficient
Feel better about yourself
Saturday, May 22, 2010
“Is there anything I can do to help you, how bad are you hurting” Second I ask to see the nine year old. I asked the nine year old " Why he needed to hurt his brother this morning, he said “Where did he say I punched him” I said "So I hear you punched him" and he said “It didn’t even hurt him”
Now here is where I say “ I am sorry you feel it matters where you punch him, and I am sorry you feel that he wasn’t hurt, but those are your feelings. His feelings are he was punched and it did hurt.
Then I add "and you know, and I know and he knows thats wrong."
Then I say, "You need to ask him how you can make him feel better, you need to apologize for touching him"...........
i dont want to
create a suitable punishment, Because I want you to take care of it and take resonsibility of what you did.
I dont want to to forced to create a suitable punishment, but I will to keep order in this house !
If i become mean mommy I am just another pawn in the game of hurting!
Be a SuperMom today !
Friday, May 21, 2010
I sent all my old videotapes to Home Depot Video (see On Creating Memories) and got back 20 discs. It’s amazing seeing the children so young, and it’s amazing what a terrible video photographer I was! When the thirteen year old came in to see himself performing a music video at the age of six, he was devastated. “Will anyone else be seeing this? Wait…it’s enough that my brothers are seeing this!” He demanded that I hand over the disc. I calmly explained how I understand seeing this today might be embarrassing for him, but these memories will serve their purpose not only for today but for the future, too. Maybe I should not have went on to explain how I would make sure to play this at his wedding video as this didn’t help the situation - but we all need to have some humor in parenting!
My son grabbed the box of tapes and ran to the guest room with them. I did not chase him. He came back and demanded the tape that was playing in exchange for the entire box. I told him that while I was ready to listen to the rules he wanted me to apply to the tapes, they were not his property to negotiate with. He scratched two of the discs and returned the rest and ran off extremely upset that he had no control over the situation.
I took a deep breath and realized I could continue several ways. I knew how easy it would be to replace the discs, and I thought about how hard it is to recover from these confrontations and to use them as lessons to learn from. I decided to take the highroad, and tell him that this was a major step he had taken on the road of maturity. I told him I knew that he could have ruined all the tapes but he controlled his impulses and returned the box undamaged. I told him that it took a lot of strength to reach inside himself and realize that what he was doing was wrong after having scratched two, which made him stop. He had put into action his own understanding of right and wrong, and I was proud of him.
Of course, he will replace the two discs that he scratched. He will go to the post office and mail them off and the money to pay for them will come off his point chart (see On Money). He also agreed to videotape a picnic we are having tonight to create a new memory, as that’s what I normally do - and he doesn’t even have to be in it !
Good luck teaching impulse control by controlling your own impulses!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
We have been biking to school since the return from Spring Break and it has been amazing. As long as we continue to stay away from:
-Second Avenue Subway Construction
-Older ladies walking slowly on the sidewalks
We are having a great time.
We want to give you a chance to dust off those bikes in storage and lock them up outside so they are accessible, and get yourself a new bike helmet.
Did you know you can go to the local hardware store and buy chain by the yard to lock up your bikes for about $2.00 per yard? Did you know you can buy one multiple locks that all have the same code so all keys open all locks from the same local hardware store?
New York City Department of Transportation invites you to
a Helmet Giveaway
DATE: Saturday, May 22
PLACE: Carl Schurz Park
East End and 86th Street Main entrance
WHO CAN COME: parents must be with children under 18, helmets
available for all ages and sizes while supplies last
QUESTIONS: Council Lappins Office at 212 980-1808
NEED A BIKE, There are many local bike shops offering many selections
at a premium. ($200-$400)
NEED A BIKE CHEAP: You can order a childrens bike on line from KMART or
TARGET or WALMART or OVERSTOCK.Com (for about $49.99-$139.99)
Of course when you get the bike in the mail from UPS it will be in a lightweight box which you can taxi over to PETER at the bike shop on third avenue and 111th street and he will put it together for $25.00. Peters number 212-410-1144 HEAVY METAL BIKE SHOP. Of course you can call him and he can also pick up and deliver the bike box and return the bike assembled and you will still have at least $100.00 on the Bike project
and get a Free helmet!
Get Tips from Raising Six Children In New York City.com
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
The endless artwork that comes home every day from school, in their cubbies, in their backpacks?
Today I saw myself holding up a piece of paper with a crayon mark on it, that was it, one mark in the center of the page.and I was caught by my son, embarrased that I was sharing his work with others?
Heres some tips:
Creating Memories websites allow you to scan in all standard paper sizes and create artwork books which are a copy of their original artworks. What I have done for years is copy the best of Kindergarten or the Best of Nursery School and take their class picture of that year as the cover page.
Another Tip is
This is an amazing site where you can take pictures or videos and send them via video tapes or discs of pictures and they can create a video on the pictures with classic music in the backround.
Can you send them the pictures? Weekly? I dont think so, I have a closet lined with artwork. Just the other day I found amongst the artworks a q-tip painting my seventh grader did in first grade (we dont clear out the art work that often...its a big closet) and framed it and put it in their treasure boxes.
The treasure boxes is another great TIP on how to save a childs treasures. They pick of few of their special artwork pictures and put it in their treasure boxes.
Its a great box to pull out when relatives visit for the child to create conversations !
Enjoy creating your memories !
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
He had a very physical altercation with one of his brothers and as I punished him I told him I would do the same if anyone ever punched him !
So I was upset when I left the school, he saw that I was but I am stronger and wiser and we are closer in our ability to respect each others positions....even if not in agreement.
NO WAY, NO PLAY
You took the control back
and thats ok
Even if I didnt want it that way
So what, there were tears
I have real feelings
I have real fears
No one has the right to punch you
Even if playful
Even in Jest
I will also protect you as I protect the rest
But your Strong and you are Wise
and you are put to the test
I already know your a STAR
without hearing a line
I forsake my own needs
To know that your fine !
Monday, May 17, 2010
Life in New York is funny! I just realized that, for the most part, you can have everything done in the home for you, without ever stepping out the front door. As my hair is blown dry for a celebration of a friend’s daughter’s 13th birthday, I sit at my desk and appreciatively contemplate everything that was done this weekend, and all within the walls of my home.
A car was rented and delivered to my house so we could drive to the Taylor Swift Concert, and the same car was later conveniently picked up; a Yoga Teacher visited to help four of my friends and me to properly stretch on our own mats; a guitar teacher and a piano teacher both came and left within the last 48 hours to work with my children; dinner was cooked in our kitchen for my brother’s family’s arrival dinner party; and an on-call doctor was even summoned to my home to test for strep in our house, as two friends had called to say they have it.
What makes me able to point out all of these items is that they cost no different then if I were to go out and secure the same things: Lets Review:
-Car rental drop off fee was the same cost as a Taxi to the west side location
-Yoga teacher for the hour was $40.00 divided by four people means we pay $10
-Guitar teacher and Piano teachers rates the same as in a studio
-Dinner was cooked for $20.00 an hour , two hour time frame for 13 people
better then a restaurants rate with groceries
-The on Call Docter was the same as a weekend docter visit at a clinic that doesnt take insurance (an insures other kids dont get sick on Monday in School if I can avoid it )
As I write this post, I think about the fact that, when I was younger, I would write, ‘when you live in New York you do not need a large space, as Manhattan, the city, is your home, and your apartment is just a space for sleeping, changing and personal time, within your larger home - New York City. Things certainly have changed in my life! In raising six children, you need a large home, but you still need to enjoy the city and all that it has to offer. You need to either venture out of your home on a regular basis or just move to the suburbs!
It’s all about finding the perfect balance that is right for us all!
Enjoy New York City, and be a supermom today!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
I have my twelve year old and my six year old on line backstage at the Taylor Swift Concert in Nassau Coliseum. It’s Friday night. Not actually night yet, you see we drove here early for a meet and greet special arrangements. The Traffic leaving Manhattan aged me about a year,
As I wiggled through the traffic, over the Tribourough bridge and down the Grand Central Parkway. One point we didn’t think we would have made the 5:30am strict arrival time for the pass pickup at Will Call.
But we made it, with time to spare as we waited for the special moment to be called into the secret underground worlds of the Superstars!
And there we were, staring at Taylor Swift in a tented room in the basement of the coliseum. There was a Sheet, purple with the Words Fearless Tour, like you see draped along the backgrounds of Red Carpets,
All ready for the photographs to be taken accessed by email.
Our turn came and they motioned for my twelve year old to stand on one side of Taylor Swift and my six year old to stand on the other. The
Moment of truth...or untruth.. when they told us each family was only allowed one picture.
It was my sons dream to be here at the Taylor Swift Concert; already many altercations had taken place about the six year old attending. I understood it already cramped his style, in fear of too many bathroom visits or having to leave early!
Well, some choices are tough ones. The Taylor Swift Staff did not understand the dilemma of my son having a picture with him and his idolized star on his nightstand and he didn’t want his six year old in it!
I let him take the picture on his own, and as I walked away consoling the six year old, a caring soul tapped us and gave her another chance.
Taylor Swift concert was amazing, and being a mom means not always accommodating everyone….but most times it works out!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
I am still trying on Bedtime !!!
7:30pm 4 and 6 year old in bed lights out
8:30pm 8 and 9 old in bed reading, (9pm lights out)
9:30pm 12 and 14th year old in bed unless watching a show which ends at 10pm
Heres some tips!
I have found that as long as I get the very youngest to bed on time, the rest of the kids fall into place better. Its when the very youngest are not settled in bed properly, when they keep getting up, when they make you say
"Get back in BED." over and over again, it when it falls apart for everyone.
But when the youngest are in bed, and read to, and spoken with, and listened to, and they have their drink besides their bed and are getting their hugs and kisses and allow you to leave the room......and they are settled.
Then, is the best time to reach out to the older children. Not just to remind them of the night time routines, but to connect with them.
It seems there is energy that travels through everyones house and when the energy of the youngest children is asleep, there is more room for the older ones !
Listen, Love and kiss them goodnight always !
Friday, May 14, 2010
One must plan ahead, especially if you are on a budget. If you book weekends to the Bahamas and get the Jet Blue $99.00 each way fare it becomes reasonable but if you book last minute and only the $249.00 each way fare is available? Travelling with six children I must plan, and I must book ahead!
But what about the STAYCATION……Memorial Day weekend is coming up and I have already contacted several hotels in the popular weekend destinations where one can fly direct from New York in under 4 hours. The Hotel rates are increased by about 50% due to the holiday weekend. The airfares are all over $500.00 round trip per person.
We did some driving trips, but the traffic was horrific…
Two years ago we drove Memorial Day Weekend to PINEGROVE Dude Ranch. More than one person told me they went there with their parents when they were young….and it hasn’t changed a bit in 30 years. We only rode horses for one hour during the three day weekend and we all slept in one room with two king’s size beds and two bunk beds, and some roll always!
Another year it was HERSHEY PARK in Pennsylvania….at the Hotel Hersey…but check that everything is open, visited friends in the Hamptons…and fought lines all weekend
THE STAYCATION, a chance to just stay home, not a weekend, but a HOLIDAY!
Create an itinerary of FAMILY ACTIVITIES that you might have never done together. Climb to the top of the Statue of Liberty while the Torch is still open. Take a ride on the Staten Island Ferry; see an off Broadway show while you are downtown, go to the seaport, picnic together in the park.
Start a STAYCATION business within your communities where you create itineraries using services of people within your community to support each other. Have flowers made for your home during your staycation, have food delivered, invite friends over, wear matching clothes, take your Christmas Picture on the East River !
The activities are endless! STAYCATION…..just the word brings a feeling of relief!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Three things we can all do today
to pause a moment just to pray
to be a friend both tried and true
and find some good that we can do
When I read this the first thing that pops into my mind of
"SOME GOOD THAT WE CAN DO" comes listening.
Because to listen is easy. To listen to your friends, to your husband, to your children. To give time for listening, to stay in one place and let people know you are there and ready to listen !
Do not pick up the phone !
Listen to everything everyone has to say today,
tommorow is for something else,
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Courage isn’t a brilliant dash
A daring deed in a moment flash
It isn’t an instantaneous thing
Born of despair-with a sudden spring
But it’s something deep in the soul of a man
That is working always to serve some plan.
….Edgar A. Guest
Everyone was laughing last night at the dinner table. I said something that
In “kid” language meant a private part or another slang phase unbeknown yet to me.
Was it courage that my Twelve year old displayed after everyone left the table to share with me what it was that I said and what it meant.
Was it courage that caused the great argument that my eight year old son had. He wanting to walk to school alone at 7:00am to get there early and me not being ready to let him go to Third Grade, walking alone this early?
We teach our children that courage is standing up for yourself or someone else in unpopular situations. Choosing to be right to oneself, to the standards you have been brought up with, and not just be a part of the popular moment!
How can you teach courage today?
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
the visions that they have in their heads while asking me the question is very different from what actually took place.
ACCEPTANCE and learning the languages of Love of your children and the balance of expectations, the teaching of the importance of rituals, and connection to the family,
Thats what Mothers Day means to be.
For my oldest child, the thirteen year old, IN Puberty, and the development of their own budding personalities, makes any demands outside themselves .....lets say a sensitive issue......My son knows how important grooming is to me.
My gift from my oldest son was the ability to cut his nails, toes and fingers. You can bet it took quite a long time and a nice chat was exchanged.
For the twelve year old, I told him the night before he would be completely in charge of making sure his brothers know tommorow is mothers day. It might sounds like too much of a responsibility, but I know he HEARS me give him that responsibility as a gift back! He printed Happy Mothers Day signs, set his alarm, woke early and hung signs everywhere for me !
From the ten year and eight year old, I received gift certificates for extra special time and a "do whatever you ask" card
For six and four year old drew me pictures which I already framed and put in their treasure boxes already !
Now Dad had everyone march into the bedroom with a different color bouquet of Roses. We spent a a great deal of time laying all the Roses out on the floor and arranging assorted flower arrangements with love and care for all the rooms in the house.
Then we went to Ironman, and took up the entire row at the Loews !
It was a great day !
Monday, May 10, 2010
Its truly amazing how volunteering does such good things to the heart and soul. Of course you are giving your time, sharing the benefits of your work towards a common goal with others…..your community of schools.
This also gives you a chance to honor other people. To see peoples unique qualities, their organization skills, their abilities to create ideas , how they spark ideas in you. Volunteering gives you a chance to make connections that you might otherwise not make.
Over the course of this month, I have had a chance to share with my children situations I have been in with the parents of their classmates as we are working on a fair, picnic and graduation plans!
I am glad I have so many opportunities to volunteer and I plan to give more of my time and enjoy all the wonderful people I don’t even know yet !
What can you volunteer for today?
Sunday, May 9, 2010
A Newborn ' s Conversation with God
A baby asked God,
"They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"
God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."
The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don ' t have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."
God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel ' s love and be very happy."
Again the small child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don ' t know the language?"
God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.."
"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"
God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."
"Who will protect me?"
God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."
"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."
God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."
At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked,
"God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel ' s name."
God said, You will simply call her, "Mom."
Thursday, May 6, 2010
I always wonder when I watch TV shows and a child character comes into the room wearing something inappropriate. The TV mother or father character seems completely shocked that this outfit of clothing is in their house. I can think of an instance when the child character was about ten years old. Now, ten years old is about the age of a fourth-grader. Surely a mother and father in their day-to-day supervision of their child have knowledge of the type of clothing in their fourth-grader’s closet? After all, who is buying the clothes? Why are these TV characters so surprised?
Well I am glad that's not real life because in real life I have a lot of time to influence my children and prepare them enough so that they make choices based upon my good influences. And if they don’t, well you can be assured that my ten year old does not have any clothes that I bought for them that I would not want them wearing or for that matter that are in the house !What is your child thinking when they get dressed? How can you influence them today so they will make good decisions when its their time to make them completely? Do you include them when your buying clothes?
What can you do today to lift your child up, to tell them how wonderful they are just by being them, how great they are by having the courage to bringing something new into their lives, by trying something new? How can you tell them how great it is to make a new friend, or to work in a group at school with different people, or hear new and different ideas?
Your six or eight or ten year old dresses themselves every morning for school, well, you are proud, such a mundane thing they are doing, but yet a milestone in some way. For you too !
Tell them !
(I dont know if I would praise my 12 or 13 year old, might sound a bit overboard to them!)
Bring your child up today!
- George Gerbert
As I read this quote, I think about the fact that every day in my life I need to forgive something said or done to either me, the things I care about, or one of my children. I think of other people in my life who must forgive - perhaps a child must forgive another child - and over and over again I realize what a huge part forgiveness plays in the trials and tribulations of raising six children.
“He spilt his drink all over my place!” Of course it was an accident, but recovery from cleaning the dripping puddle that is inching towards another child’s lap, and returning back to a civilized dinner is not easy for a large family when all is said and done! But true forgiveness is undoubtedly a work in progress. My son won’t let me watch his football games, but I’m still his mom and I don’t stop asking, “what can I do for you to help you today.”
I teach forgiveness as an expression of unconditional love. ‘You, my son, don’t have to let me watch your football games. You’re my son I forgive you for this behaviour because you don’t know that it hurts my feelings not be to part of your football games. I understand your need to have power over some things, and I am still here to help you and love you. And when football gets tough, I hope you come to me so I can help you and love you and give you confidence to get back out there.’
‘You need printer ink. Of course it will be waiting for you so you can do your homework. Because I want to help you even if you don’t want me to watch you play football! I want you to be successful in doing your homework. You are still very young and don’t have the means to take care of everything yourself.’
What can you forgive today?
- Theresa Bloomingdale
What an amazing quote - it says so much. To me it says, ‘get more windows!’ When I travel with the family we get around in an RV. Sure, we joke about the "green turd” (for anyone who has seen the movie RV), but it’s still real and special for us.
Every August I rent an RV, and we choose a state in America. I try to have the kids choose. I try to ask them something indigenous to a state in America as a precursor to deciding to travel there. In Michigan, for example, locales range from Detroit, the rural inner city carnivals on the asphalt, to the Grand Hotel in Mackinac island. We golfed, fished, boated, kayaked, bumper car'd, and tented at the Jellystone Park, surrounded by the tents of other vacationing families. At these family tenting park sites, my kids run around looking to fill their water containers and bump into other kids doing the same, taking on those odd jobs to keep their campsite going. What a lovely shared camaraderie amongst the young! These little things are what make the summers special for my city children!
‘Cruise America’ is an RV company where you can rent an RV, drive where you wish and drop off at another stop! These are basic self-driven vans with refrigerators, bathroom, and cabinets for your luggage. Don’t attempt to sleep in one! For the trip, it’s your car - would you sleep in your car?
When we travel within one state we normally find a better quality rental through the local state companies, which are easy to find through a simple Google search. We were lucky enough to rent one that had a flat screen TV and a video gaming system (which I promptly hid so my kids never knew about it)! We line the bed with duffle bags full of supplies. We grab anything we need from these bags to refill of our small carry bags that we take into the hotels, leaving the rooms much less cluttered. The refrigerator is filled with fresh fruit to balance the fast-food diet we subject ourselves to at hotel pools, beaches and resorts, and at the roadside drive-throughs! It’s not expensive; it’s actually pretty darn cheap. A two-bedroom suite (which is the most expensive room), at a beautiful hotel on Traverse Lake in Michigan, deluxe by any standards, in nowhere near equivalent to the cost of any night at a Hamptons house!
Over the years we have travelled with an RV within the following States;
Maine (last year)
The RV is a tradition, a culture, if you will, within our family. It’s who we are and what we do.
Create your own summer traditions today!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
"If mothers would understand that much of their importance lies in building up the father image for the child, the children would turn out well."
.......I want to change the end to the children (boys) would turn out to be great fathers!
Isn’t the ultimate compliment in motherhood to be succeeded by your daughter who herself becomes a happy and successful mother but as a mother you need to make sure to turn out successful fathers of your sons, and you need to make the role of father is
seen as a successful position. One that receives Great Respect, one that speaks of great fun.
The more praise you give your husband in front of your children about what great fathers they are, the more attractive the position stands in their eyes......one day they will be great Dads too.
I am not home this morning; I left the entire job of getting six children to school to my husband, and the morning breakfast helper! A task I do every day of my life, and have gotten right after many years; Do I actually expect everything to run as smoothly as when I am there?
I remain unsurprised when I hear everyone home in the background at 8:30am. I hear of the rain and try to get off the phone as fast as possible. I wonder if the fact that I wasn't there last night either, and everyone’s voices were in the background at 10:00pm had anything to do with it.
But its one night, and I had to go away. I want my children to think only that
they had a special stay up late night with Dad, and Dad hired a car service to get us to school in the rain so we would not have to walk to the corner to find a cab and the service was late !
There is No benefit in thinking anything else!
Dad is great and Gives me lots of special Treats! That's a good feeling to let my kids enjoy, don’t I give my children lots of Special TIME in different ways? What if my husband didn’t allowed me to have special time during the hours he was working.....to support us......
I love my husband, and I want him to be a successful Dad as much as I want my children to be happy!
And so do you!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Saturday Morning is just not the same as School Mornings and for those working mothers school and work mornings. Even more the reason to
Enjoy Saturday mornings that much more. Sure I want to be supermom all the time, so when the four year old says, mom, I want to spend time with you, it makes me melt…….but it’s Very Early Saturday morning and I have all day to be a great mom. I
What do you to for yourself on Saturday Mornings? What do you want to do?
*I want to sneak out with the dog……alone……walk to the deli and get a bagged coffee and a buttered roll and sit on the steps of the Museum and feel the morning !
Our children are constantly demanding us to do for them. When you fill yourself up with love and peace and do some of the things you want to do, there is JUST MORE TO GIVE.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Different Schools close at different times. There is am amazing place 90 miles door to door just on the other side of the Delaware Water Gap. To get there basically you take the George Washington Bridge to 95 to 80W and travel to the Delaware water gap. Then you travel about 10 exits and get off at the GREAT WOLF LODGE.
This is a 100,000 square foot indoor and outdoor water park. It is really quite amazing to spend the night and heres what you do:
When school is out for you, but not out for everyone in Penn or New Jersey and not everybody in New York City for that matter, pick a midweek night. The reason you are travelling mid week is because Weekends are packed. Also midweek is half the price. You can leave on around 3pm on a Tuesday. (This is also great for a midweek closed day of school during the year). You get there check into your room. Make sure to ask for amusement/water park level. It’s WORTH IT to be on this floor. (You can also move your car to park outside the back of your room for easy leaving through the sliding back doors of the accommodation)
Water Park all night long! I don’t let the children into the arcade until the next day. The money just goes too fast, and I still have the next day!
Then when the kids are ready to bed, the next morning is Buffet breakfast and Magic Quest in PJs. A Treasure hunt around the hotel with a magic wand that opens certain quests and shows you whats inside! Waving your wand could open a treasure box!
Then its meet in the lobby to make your own KARAOKE DVD TAPE singing your favorate song!
Then we get dressed and head into the arcade where games spit out tickets for prizes.
Then back into the water park, checkout of the room before we enter (or pay a fee for a late checkout). After the water park, when the children are sufficiently exhausted I welcome the sounds from the DVD players in the back of the car while I drive home.
A successful mission!
A few tips:
-Bring fruit, bananas, apples, healthy drinks, bottles of water for the room
-Bring something to hang on your room door as the kids have wristbands to open their rooms, but the room numbers are not on the wristbands and all the room doors look the same
-Bring Friends. The kids love to buddy with their friends in the water park !
-Bring your own towels, as they don’t let you leave the water park with the water park towels and its cold in the hallways
-Bring two bathing suits as it’s hard to get near the dryers to dry the ones you wear the night before. If you have a wet suit, or swimming shirt, its better, NO BIKINIS in the water park ladies!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Children misbehaving and Parents behaving incredibly well! Parents who are able to step above the BEHAVIOR and see that this person that they love, this child of theirs, (or another’s) this very young person who whether 5 or 10 or 13 are just so young and learning…..
And has not
*The ability to filter all that is coming at them
*The ability to make the RIGHT thumbs up choice when
Dealing with emotions all the time
You lean over to give your child a hug, and accidently elbow your child in the face
And they run away completely upset at you, what do you do?
I said to my friend yesterday
“I am not getting on the roller coaster ride today”
I was referring to my eldest son’s emotional state.
The other day I was picking up a younger one of mine at school and there was this hysterical child, I mean the hiccupping type crying, above the regular cry.
I was not listening, and I am not judging, but what I did hear at the end was the mother screaming for her child to pick up the backpack and follow her. It seems the mother was walking away and the child would not pick up the back pack in some type of power play!
I have to share a story. I standing in line at the airport and my hands were completely full with all the carry on I had since I did not check luggage. My purse, a pulling travel bag, the passports and tickets in my hands, and my daughter did not want to carry her travel bag. It was one of those color the front yourself tog bags.She actually threw it down on the floor and said I am not carrying this to the plane.
I left it there! That was it! and we boarded the plane without it !
Now I am not saying I would have left her coat there! As I needed her to have her coat, but this was her personal bag with her things and that was that.
I think children misbehaving is most corrected by parents choosing to pick their battles. Parents rising above the words and displays that are in front of us to be able to
Visually see yourself consoling…………….Unconditional Love
Congratulations to all those amazing parents who I have in my life. I see you and I admire who you are and all that you do!