tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51281672762902237022024-03-13T19:42:21.524-04:00RAISING SIX CHILDREN IN NEW YORK CITYAGES OF CHILDREN
14 13 11 10 7 6KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.comBlogger161125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-25016770098999869282019-05-13T07:47:00.000-04:002019-05-13T07:47:55.885-04:00All of the worldAs we begin to wake up and realize that we are not separate from each other, nor from this wondrous earth, we realize that the ways we live together and relate to the earth need to be reconstructed too. That means not only social engagement as individuals helping other individuals, but finding ways to address the problematic economic and political structures that are deeply implicated in the eco-crisis and the social justice issues that confront us today. This reclaims the goal of enlightenment from an exclusively individualistic model. Engagement in the world is how our personal awakening blossoms, and contemplative practices such as meditation ground our activism, transforming it into a spiritual pathKMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-22326313581490866852019-05-04T14:20:00.000-04:002019-05-04T14:20:54.519-04:00Letter of grief <p>RAM DASS" LETTER TO A COUPLE WHOSE child died a violent act of death ——<p><br></p><p>Rachel finished her work on earth,</p><p>and left the stage in a manner</p><p>that leaves those of us left behind</p><p>with a cry of agony in our hearts,</p><p>as the fragile thread of our faith is</p><p>dealt with so violently. Is anyone</p><p>strong enough to stay conscious through</p><p>such teaching as you are receiving?</p><p>Probably very few. And even they</p><p>would only have a whisper of</p><p>equanimity and peace amidst the screaming trumpets</p><p>of their rage, grief, horror and desolation. </p><p>I can't assuage your pain with</p><p>any words, nor should I. For</p><p>your pain is Rachel's legacy to you. Not that</p><p>she or I would inflict such pain</p><p>by choice, but there it is. And it must</p><p>burn its purifying way to completion.</p><p>For something in you dies when you</p><p>bear the unbearable, and it is</p><p>only in that dark night of the soul that you</p><p>are prepared to see as God sees,</p><p>and to love as God loves. </p><p>Now is the time to let your grief</p><p>find expression. No false strength.</p><p>Now is the time to sit quietly</p><p>and speak to Rachel, and thank</p><p>her for being with you these few years, and</p><p>encourage her to go on with whatever</p><p>her work is, knowing that you will grow</p><p>in compassion and wisdom from</p><p>this experience. In my heart, I know that you</p><p>and she will meet again and again,</p><p>and recognize the many ways in which</p><p>you have known each other. And</p><p>when you meet you will know, in a flash,</p><p>what now it is not given to you</p><p>to know: Why this had to be the way it was. </p><p>Our rational minds can never</p><p>understand what has happened,</p><p>but our hearts– if we can keep them open to God – will</p><p>find their own intuitive way. </p><p>Rachel came through you to do</p><p>her work on earth, which includes</p><p>her manner of death. Now her soul is free,</p><p>and the love that you can share</p><p>with her is invulnerable to the winds of</p><p>changing time and space. In that</p><p>deep love, include me. </p><p><br></p><p>In love, </p><p><br></p><p>Ram Dass"</p></p>KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-15818716775095254772015-11-23T02:24:00.000-05:002015-11-23T02:24:39.285-05:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Selfless service goes against the grain of how we usually deal with the world: wanting life on our own terms, wanting things to work out for our own benefit, no matter what happens to others. The practice begins to break down the walls we've built around ourselves, begins to liberate us from the prison of self. As this protective shield starts to come apart, we naturally feel a wish to reach out. People need help, and we can provide it – both literally and at that level of aspiration for their well-being.</div>
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I pray to be the best me in selfless service</div>
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KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-26618422197574045422013-08-01T14:03:00.004-04:002013-08-01T14:03:38.842-04:00BECAUSE I SAID SO....<pre style="font-size: 9pt;"><tt>Today I wonder how we give our kids the answers to everything, make them
research them, send them to the best schools to learn the answers, find the
answers, defend the answers....
So when they ask, why ? And you say
because I said so,
it just might not compute !!! Haha !!
Smiling along the shore, trying to follow with my eye the section of the oceans
tip which comes up into a crash to break the stillness, in some way its very
instinct with the other sections, where I can see, if I wasn't so close for so
long I might think it all simultaneous ....
Patience
Perspective
Love
-kmg </tt></pre>
KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-88044836710535844262013-07-01T16:34:00.001-04:002013-07-01T16:34:31.024-04:00And when a child asks?<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />Before I went to bed, my littlest one was asking,<br /><br />"So if someone kills someone will they go to hell, "<br /><br />And wanting to understand what it means to received jesus in your heart who takes away sins, as the man incarnate as god.....<br /><br />He says so do u have to kill to help people like bank robbers and then its ok cause u feel bad anyway ?<br /><br />Hard to explain to him, started with 10.commandments that goodness starts with and told him usually u are off the path of goodness when u break they shall not kill, and that shall honor their mother and father,<br /><br />So if ur a killer, u might be someone who needs to be saved to be a better person so u become completely turned around and ask for foregiveness from that place, and isn't god mercy<br /><br />Than he asked what is mercy ?<br /><br />I say mercy is unconditional love, like I love u just because you are part of me....and you will always be a part of me, and I a part of you even if I were not here anymore, if I died....I say maybe when we all go to heaven we are all a part of gods mercy and all connected..</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">That's enough, ready for bed ,</span><br />
,,,KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-58138989103407068112012-06-12T09:31:00.000-04:002012-06-12T09:31:02.146-04:00GRADUATION WEEKI notice as I share what the priorities are this week, with my friends, I spend most of my time<br />
sharing about the details of what is happening in my life, which probably involved all the extra<br />things that need to get done which include:<br />
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*Camp Packing<br />
*Docters appointments and forms for camp<br />
*Re-enrollment forms for Schools<br />
*Vacation Coordinating<br />*Summer Schedules<br />
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Am I missing Graduation Week all together with this mind set ?<br />
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My Six year old today will eat in the Cafeteria for the First Time. Kindergarten<br />
packs lunches every day and here, Today, he will get a "taste" of first grade.<br />
Just mentioning it in the ride to school, makes me remember to celebrate it when he gets home !<br />
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Maybe I will create a snack in his lunch box and leave it on the counter and we could say goodbye<br />
to the old lunchbox we used in Nursery and K two years already.....<br />
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Though just writing in this blog today, I want to remind you and remind myself that graduation week means so much more than the stress of the added details every mother faces .<br />
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What can you do to be part of the graduating process for your children !<br />
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<br />KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-48577074742336661922012-05-01T13:29:00.004-04:002012-05-01T13:29:55.858-04:00BEFORE SCHOOL ENDS...OR RIGHT AFTER<br />
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SATURDAY NIGHT MAY 12 Mastercard Priceless is offering a NIGHT
AT THE BRONX</div>
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ZOO for you and your
child. Join me and Gordon and wake up</div>
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with the Gorillas on
Mothers Day Morning !!!</div>
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SUNDAY MAY 13 A more civilized celebration at
the Botanical Gardens for Mothers day</div>
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YORKVILLE (yyah) Is offering Yankee vs Mets
Tickets at $25.00 a piece JUNE 24</div>
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We are going
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TADA THEATRE Is playing a SUPER musical for
kids . one hour long $25.00 tkts</div>
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on west 28th
Street. Preformed by kids. Gordon and I saw it. GOOD !</div>
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TRACES Like Circus Soil is
offering $25.00 walk up tickets in Union Square</div>
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for weekend shows.
Gordon and I saw it, its amazing and greenmarket</div>
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across street for
ingredients for dinner</div>
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OUTSIDE THE CITY: : HERSHY PARK OPENS MAY 10 and
schools in area dont get</div>
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out until end
of June so you can take advantage of small lines</div>
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and HOTEL
HERSHEY's promotional offers on the web site !</div>
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KITTANEY ADVENTURES: Offers one way rafting trips down
the deleware water gap.</div>
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Its a great
day out of the city. 75 miles door to door each way !</div>KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-86923647555774278082011-02-19T10:04:00.003-05:002011-02-19T10:22:17.514-05:00Being a mother of sixBeing a mother of six has given me a chance to identify with two completely<br />different sets of three children....I ponder now....<br /><br />Five years ago my oldest three children were in the same positions as my younger three children. It gives me a chance to reflect, do i respond the same in parenting situations? How have I grown? What have I learned? In areas where responses are exactly the same, is it because that the only way I can see how things should be?<br />Can I see how things are and accept them that way when i see them coming around again the same way?<br /><br />I am about to depart of the NICK CRUISE, a NCL mega ship that is sailing from New York City with my three younger children. There are a lot of lessons here for me<br /><br />*I am sending the message to my older three children, that now they are in upper<br />school, they have a responsibility to their academics and can not miss any school<br />even if its just three days for this .<br /><br />*I am sending the message to the younger children, that they are just as important as the older children because the older children speak of THEME STYLE vacations that they were went on at this age<br /><br />*I have a chance to interact with my 5-7-9 year old children in ways that will create memories they will never forget...the 5 year old and I are signed up for<br />THE "pie in the face with your mom" game, the other two will play against me<br />in NICKS SLIMETIME LIVE show and who knows what game will be picked ! Neverless it will be unforgettable!<br /><br />*I have a chance to start a new routine with the younger three that can carry into our home life. I have been thinking about the 9 year old reading to the younger two<br />in a dramatic way to settle them down before I come in at bedtime. <br /><br />*I carefully picked out brain quests, 1000 questions for kids,Scrabble Junior,<br />and even CD nighttime stories for when I pass out!<br /><br />I will spend today making sure the older children are ready for the responsibilities of staying behind !<br /><br />Happy Presidents Day weekend !KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-74577623184040116622011-02-14T10:38:00.000-05:002011-02-14T10:39:08.821-05:00HAPPY VALENTINES DAYHAPPY VALENTINES DAY!<br /><br />I googled the History of Valentine’s Day as a fun way to start the blog, and I got so many interpretations. I did not want to attach my words to any of them as I have my own!<br /><br />WHAT IS YOUR VALENTINES DAY TRADITION?<br /> The lesson of giving!<br />Which then teaches the lesson of community, the lesson of taking time to create something that will bring joy to someone else? RAISING SIX CHILDREN IN NEW YORK CITY….I take this one step further and also teach them that as a family we can reach so many people with a touch of love. They see how excited I am, how it brings me such great joy….they feel this joy and the traditions are created!<br /><br />40 children in each grade multiplied by six grades is TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY VALENTINES (I'm including the teachers)<br /><br />I purchased 5 bags of Valentine’s Day lollipops from Duane Reade; I took the pink tissue paper from the dry cleaners and one roll of cellophane and created a Valentine’s Day loll pop flower. On the stem to hold on the tissue paper and cellophane I used a mailing label, and wrote happy Valentine’s Day and our last name. The children will hand them out today! 250 valentines were created on the kitchen counter during snack time and cost less than $40.00 dollars!<br /><br />I went down to 35th street area off fifth and sixth avenues where there are importers shops filled with Bulk valentine red teddy bears with HAPPY VALENTINES DAY pillows attached. You can purchase 12 for $18.00. I budgeted $100.00 bad brought home 72 red teddy bear dolls.<br /><br />After wrapping them up in cellophane putting a sticker on them (a mailing label with our family name on it) I started handing them out to people in our community, who I want my children to SEE.<br /><br />The super who restrings all the recyclables from the garbage cans next door to our house, the mechanics on our block who move cars back and forth every morning while we leave for school, the dry cleaners couple who see our house from across the street every day, the receptionist at our school, and so on.<br />Its 10:30am and I am out of bears, feel glad I had a chance to touch so many people and a bit worried that all that morning energy and excitement is going to make me tired for my husband’s special valentine’s day night…..off to restKMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-74330102859894612592011-01-30T14:46:00.002-05:002011-02-01T10:15:09.746-05:00Raising Your Kids by Keeping your CoolParenting Books :SCREAMFREE PARENTING <br />Quote Directly from Book<br /><br />"Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool by HE Runkel <br /><br />In Medieval Times the goutlet was a protective glove worn by knights. <br />When thrown down at the feet of an adversary, the goutlet was an invitation to battle <br />picking up the goultlet was an acceptance of the invitation,an acceptance of the mutual responsibility of whatever happened next <br /><br />When kids throw down the goutlet they are testing you to see if you are willing to take responsibility for them. <br /><br />This book is about being responsible TO THEM for your actions and reactions so you can be a good influence to them and eventually influence them. <br /><br />Your child is testing you to see if you can be trusted, can you be stable, consistant, Dependable. They need you to pass. Their anxiety wants you to cave but their growing selves wants you to pass. <br /><br />The momentum of the opponent rather than force is used to change the encounter <br />completely. <br /><br />It is a model of parenting that chooses not to pick up the Goutlet. It is a model of parenting that teaches to work on your REACTIONS to your children, working on yourself and not your CHILD. <br /><br />I picked up this book because here on vacation, I release a great amount of control over the boundaries and limit settings that we have at home. <br /><br />I take time on this school break to make sure I am parenting with proper boundary setting and not with the need to control the situations and therefore the need for control. <br /><br /><br />I will also be more aware of where I can work on myself and release control <br />when it is not needed in exchange for influence...... <br /><br />Happy Parenting ! <br />Labels: on parentingKMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-21027818681865020152010-12-21T13:56:00.004-05:002010-12-22T09:56:17.190-05:00Vacations,Birthdays,Families,Traditions,OrganizationVACATIONS,ORGANIZATION<br /><br />I remember here on our Winter Ski Vacation, that the children, whether 13, 9 or 6,<br />Whether 12, 11 or 5, are all a bit displaced. I remember that their complaints are because they are uncomfortable and trying to get comfortable, that they are missing something that has been moved and that they are less independant as they CAN be because we are in a New place, a smaller place....<br /><br />.......My role here in mothering, is to comfort, to listen and not to add to the discomfort anyone is feeling by asking "What is your problem" Not even to myself.<br />I instead lay out all the ski clothes in packages, i make sure the goggles and gloves are together and set across the table for all six children...I make sure the wool socks are inside the boots and they are being warmed by the fire.<br /><br />ITS MY BIRTHDAY TODAY:<br /><br />I remember that the children want to give, its their nature, but they dont have the resources, so I lay out a book of GIFT CERTIFICATES i purchased at Staples and have them fill them out and put them in a bowl with a sign marked "BIRTHDAY GIFT CERTIFICATES FOR MOM"......I love the offers of ""ONE TRIP TO GO OUT AND GET MILK"<br />and the "ONE BIKE RIDE TO THE BOATHOUSE" or "ONE YOU DONT HAVE TO LEAVE WHEN I ASK YOU TO LEAVE"<br /><br />FAMILIES, TRADITIONS<br /><br />We start the EGG GAME TODAY. That is a family tradition. A Game that we play when ever we go skiing.One person holds a UNHARDBOILED egg until it cracks or until they leave it even for a minute and the one to hold the egg the longest wins the prize for that trip. You have to keep the egg with you, ski with it, sleep with it....Its very exciting to negotiate through the rules. <br /><br />The negotiating through the rules and letting the children create the rules and backing them on the rules they create with eachother enpowers them in a way that feels right.<br /><br />In this role, I am a mother, but I am not mothering, I am just here and part of your life and playing and listening to you .<br /><br />I know the legacy I want to leave .....it is not to say:<br /><br />"I AM STILL YOUR MOTHER, BUT THAT <em>I AM STILL HERE</em> !'<br />"I am still listening to you"<br />"Your decisions make me proud"<br /><br />Enjoy your family holidays !KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-32840844862449487342010-11-29T10:00:00.003-05:002010-11-29T10:03:10.270-05:00How many times do you call home ?When on vacation<br />Alone with your husband<br />What is the right amount of times to call home ?<br /><br />I feel very comfortable answering the phone whenever it rings. An understanding of how important for the younger children to feel safe in their abilities to reach you when they need you....to feel safe enough in their separation from you and its all ok....and in that they grow !<br /><br />I reach out to the older children and text them. I text them little antidotes or forward them emails I get from Burton (as spam but there is a purpose to them too) and suggest they consider what they need for skiing season....I forward a school email on when the photo retake day is...as a mark that I remembered and cared about the conversations we had about someone not liking theirpersonal photo from picture day.<br /><br />I communicate with the older kids by making a connection with them outside my role as mother and inside of a role as another human being in this world who considers them as people with cares about their concerns.<br /><br />I am happy that they are home with my brother....and while I am away from them with their father, my brother comes in to support our children.<br /><br />Community, family, a great natural lesson I don't want to undermine by constant calls home " Are u ok without me?" Why wouldn't you be ?<br /><br />Also as I sit here on the beach trying to be peaceful with my husband I send the message to my husband "I am happy here with you and the kids are ok and I need not remain in the role of mother, when I am not mothering, I can now be just wife and share that peace with you now !<br /><br />Enjoy your time when you are with your children and enjoy your time when you are not !KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-53370396468192562302010-10-27T17:05:00.002-04:002010-10-27T17:16:57.171-04:00What type of tribe are you creating?I realize this morning as I watch TOM AND JERRY with my five year old<br />that I must leave and speak with the Thirteen Year old about his behavior<br />after this weekends football game.<br /><br />He doesnt want to hear that he played well, when his team lost and I know<br />that I can not console his 13 year old hormones, or ego with anything that<br />even smells of mothering but I know that there is a lesson to be taught here<br />in setting boundaries of acceptable behavior.<br /><br />I dont immediate respond as I want to finish :Parenting with Boundaries< a book I have been reading by Dr. John Townsend.<br /><br />When it is ok to be disrectful to your parents? When you loose a football game<br />and your in a bad mood? Can we teach that all the feelings our children have are ok but it is how they respond to them that makes them who they are, and what is allowed as acceptable in OUR HOME ?<br /><br />There will be LOTS of defeats, understandable. But what about your actual preformance, did it change much during the entire game just because the other<br />team scored in the last quarter of the game. Cant we still speak about the great play you made? <br /><br />Here is the time to set boundaries with an OPEN HEART to his perdictament. For I have noticed where the lines of disrespect are crossed, its hard to return to the original starting point.<br /><br />Its like once your child has seem a Pg-13 movie, there is no going back !<br /><br />I realize that playing football, raising all these BOYS in NYC, I have a hunting tribe, WE MUST WIN, we must be great, we must compete against our classmates for that spot in high school, we must complete for the highest test scores, the best football positions, the most playing time,....the most loved in our house.<br /><br />In hunting tribes they leave the old behind, and where will your advice be then ?<br /><br />Yet, in gathering tribes, you are an elder, the holder of the wisdom, someone to<br />be respected and listened to.<br /><br />Where do you want to be in ten years from now with your children? Set boundaries with love !KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-26079182743864018442010-10-22T12:04:00.004-04:002019-10-04T10:55:50.408-04:00"I" Statements OnlyWednesday night I sit on the floor of the nursery 4's classrooms and learn about the activities my youngest is doing in his classroom;<br><br>Thursday afternoon I am in Alexandria, Virginia singing hymn 482 at a Chapel with my fourteen year old by my side as we tour a high school for his 9th grade.<br><br>And as we sing praises to god, I feel blessed to be in all my positions beside all my children in their life right now.<br><br>I have had a very full day, and whether you work in an office or in the community<br>of service and friends, we all have very full days.<br><br>And so do my children, with their teachers, sports classes, pressures of other children, haves and have nots they are dealing with.<br><br>Lets rememeber we are the adults here and our love for our childrens' best interests<br>has to out weigh our need to be simply in the role of parents.<br><br><br>We play a game of <strong>texas-hold em </strong>(the four older boys) <br><br>after dinner<br>after homework<br>after listening to their stories of the day<br>after reading books, pj's and bedtime for the 4 and 5 year old<br><br><br>and i know, the best advice I can give to anyone, to be in this wonderful place,<br>sharing special nights like this with your children, and sharing the unfolding<br>wonderful and beautiful life that you are sharing together and they are experiencing<br>is to work on yourself......not work on them !<br><br>"I would feel so much better if you didnt say that to your brother"<br>"I want you to stay up past your bedtime, I want you to stay up all night!"<br>(as i walk them to bed)<br><br>"I will feel better if you stayed in your bed. I get tired when you keep getting out"<br><br><br><br>Today, speak only "I" statements and eliminate any YOU statements.<br><br>One simply goal a day....can change so much !KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-79650258346333983812010-10-20T11:01:00.005-04:002019-10-04T10:53:29.035-04:00On nanniesThis school year I am blessed to have all SIX children at the same NK-8 School. The same drop off and basically the same pickup (though the staggering dismissal times<br>put me infront of their school for about 60 minutes, and what a great chance to see<br>EVERYONE)<br><br>Can I take care of my children all by myself and hire assistance in everything else;<br><br>Everything else.....<br> *Taking care of the house, laundry, groceries and pets<br> *Taking care of the paperwork, repairs, appointments,reservations<br> <br><br>Well it was working, until the cirriculum nights, pot luck dinners and NK--<br>First Grade--Fourth Grade--Fifth Grade--Seventh Grade and Eight Grade parent nights started to fill the evening calender. The exmissions visits for High School, I needed another body at home !<br><br>So I placed an ad on Craigs List in the Education Section of the Classified and advertised a nice hourly salary for a teacher who wanted to earn extra money working from<br>4:00-8:30pm.<br><br>I got a few fabulous candidates, medical school students, teachers. Then I narrowed<br>the list down to the people with the easiest commute. For someone who lives 3 blocks from me will fret less when I return home a half an hour later than expected.<br>I did a few trials.<br><br>I remember one trial, my child was in the playroom marching around with a whistle in his mouth and the "nanny" was telling him "No blowing a whistle inside?" then presented me with the whistle as it a trophy she took to show me that she was in control. <br><br>Later I explained to her, that my children live in a world where everywhere they go, people are telling them what they can not do. So many adults need to have control over them,** cant we create a safe space for them here at home, in their playroom and release some control to them ?**<br><br>Here is this house I want a safe space for things like blowing a whisle. No one was being bothered (it wasnt the dining room table) it was the playroom and why not grab a drum and march on behind him !<br><br><br>In raising one child, two children or six children, EVERYONE NEEDS a different amount of help, but make sure you are hiring people who can be your partners in raising your children and value what you value,<br><br>truly be an extention of who you are and what you want to teach......KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-2137403195894880222010-09-04T13:10:00.003-04:002010-12-22T10:21:39.059-05:00On ResponsesOne of the greatest lessons I have been learning this week, away from my <br />children is how to respond better to their sibling squabbling.<br /><br /><br />I can not react when I am away<br />I have no reason to change<br />All the good feelings I have in my moment, when the phone rings<br />Into my experience and there is one child complaining about the other child <br />invading their space somehow !<br /><br />I see clearly how if I were in that room my emotions would attach themselves to <br />the feelings of my children and my responses would be more reactions to <br />that....and not responding to the source of the problem or the source of the <br />needs of my children<br /><br />That's why they are behaving that way. There is something that needs to be worked out. It will keep occuring until I really help here.<br /><br />And I am here as their teacher and mother- guide to help them in this moment <br /><br />And find out how I can really help them.....because it usually is not by <br />punishing their sibling....its usually by empowering them to feel more<br />Confident or powerful to deal with their own situations. <br /><br />Today it might be that they are ok while I am away, they need to take more control of their own personal space and walk away from conflicts that your siblings want to <br />create.<br /><br />That conflict is also how your sibling is feeling.<br /><br />Now some children are born with strong empathy for others...you must plant these <br />seeds all the time and you teach compasion. <br /><br />I know, as a mother with so many children, it is hard to consider this type of thinking when you are driving the car home from a long trip and your children are fighting in the back of the car.<br /><br />You want it to stop<br />So do they !<br /><br />If you practice this type of thinking every time you RESPOND or REACT to your children, the times when you are in car and their is fighting in the back......it will come to you easier to insert a conversation between you and them that might actually last the whole rest of the ride home !KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-81867988696486701012010-09-02T09:37:00.005-04:002019-10-04T10:57:56.565-04:00on Being AloneWhat? Being Alone with Six Children , A husband, A house that has a doorbell ringing non stop, a 65 pound dog, two fish, ?<br><br>Its strange how the only memories in the last 15 years I have of being alone, I mean truly alone,are those in the hospital....the nights I was in the recovery unit, after each of my six C-Sections, where the lights stayed on 24 hours, and I would lay there, in the mid hours of the morning/night....alone....well even then I had my newborn angels by my side.....but I was with myself!<br><br>Now, in a taxi, leaving Pheonix Airport, heading to the Ranch in Tuscon, I am completely alone and preparing for my days away. I check my blackberry and make sure that all the kids are arriving safely at their god parents houses, between Conneticut and the Hamptons. They all head out seperately, (the four and the six yer old together), They too, will be on their own, without their parents or siblings.<br><br>I am once again grateful for the love that is all around me. The most wonderful friends who support this effort and allow me this chance to re charge my batteries and look quietly inward and prepare for the 2010-2011 school year to begin!<br>I will be thankful all year to them for being there for me!<br><br>Everyone needs to take a moement alone, as a busy mom, and redefine how this year is going to be better than the last year. If something is not growing, what is it doing?<br><br>My goals here include:<br><br>*Redefine my lifes purpose which is to share love with my children and husband, to be grateful for what I have and to contribute to this world. I want to take these postings and publish a book, not a reality show, offer the compasion I have for super mothers and fathers and friends, like you, and share my insights to help motivate people!<br><br>*Take the time to understand if my husbands basic needs are being met in our relationship and see what I can do to make sure he feels like he is the most important priority to me....as hard as that sounds with the six priorities we have together!<br><br>*Finish all the Bain De Soil Organge Gel SPF #4 tubes I brought with me, do every exercise Class, take every Shamanoc Joourney I can and read every book left unfinished on my Kindle <br><br><br>....before I return home in a week !<br><br>%%%%%% The phone rings, I hear screanms, I hear crying, some one does not want to do what the instructions on the board said they "HAD TO DO."<br><br>Everyone is really handling their feelings and fears at their own age<br>appropriate levels. I can not control things completely any longer, I need<br>them to feel some control,and as I am away, and they are getting ready to leave too (for their godparents houses),it is a safe chance for then to take<br>control , be responsible, make decisions they can be successful in !<br><br>"You dont have to go, I tell the ten year old, to see the Lizards and Snakes Exibit at the Museum of Natural History today if you dont want to, but I hope you<em> choose</em> to go to Times Square tommorow and see the King Tut Exibit?..<br><br>I tell them I love them and I promise to bring home a nerf gun for my 4 year old !<br><br>and I hang up and begin my day !KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-36172243441109376842010-08-26T17:03:00.003-04:002010-08-26T17:46:02.681-04:00On Travel-on the roadIts 1:30am and we are in Saratoga Springs. The room is finally quiet.I am <br />thinking at one o'clock tommorow we will be at the races<br />And this moment will be long gone...and I must, to be real and fair, post all the <br />sides of raising six children.<br /><br />We attempt the marathon drive from the border of Canada at Niagra Falls,Ontario across the state of New York..after a morning in the water park at the Great Wolf Lodge. <br /><br />We have an RV, so while the kids are making raviolis in the microwave, seeking <br />wifi signals and watching videos, I drive onward...towards our next adventure. <br /><br />I arrive at the hotel desk alone, and I check into a three queen bedded room <br />and ask for a crib to be delivered to the room with extra towels and pillows.<br /><br />I return to the rv and have the children go straight to the elevator,<br />The twelve year old has a fever.<br /><br /> I transfer the 4 year old naked,half asleep, wrapped in a towel, after I stripped him of his wet clothing from drinking too many bottles of milk while asleep in the RV.<br /><br />We head to the room. I put the 4 year old in the crib, the twelve year old in <br />the bathrub with tylenol and a bottle of water and I have the 13 year old <br />babysit the 6,9 and 10 year old who are all in seperate queen size beds.<br /><br />I go to the rv and sort out pj and clothes for the races tommorow !<br />I clean up the rv, wipe the counters and floor, throw out the garage and make it <br />fresh and ready for the morning !<br /><br />When I get to the room I can hear the children from the end of the <br />hallway....and I hear laughter but I sense the sound might not be as appealing <br />to other guests now that its 1130pm<br /><br />The twelve year old threw up, the four year old woke up and the ten year old is <br />standing in the hallway<br />Because he broke the one rule he agreed to and he knew the consecquenses.<br /><br />Anyone who touches anyone else while I am away goes in the hallway until my work is done.<br /><br />I say goodnight and they still chitty chat, I need not demand quiet, I put my <br />headphones in and listen to calming music. <br /><br />I thank them for being on this trip with me and I tell them I choose to be here <br />with them and so grateful I have that choice.<br /><br />Someone says, "Mom, u have to be here!" And I think silently ....one day....they <br />will realize otherwise and make the same choices with their children.KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-5568368537344739082010-08-25T08:00:00.002-04:002010-08-25T08:00:05.133-04:00on TravelI keep counting, the children and it seems while the number remains the same, we are getting smaller. We, the travelling unit of children, are reducing our size.<br /><br />Today, for example, no one blinked when they showed us to a booth that had room for three on one side and three on the other with a chair at the end. As everyone slid in to the booth, ready to order, all on the same page, it was more important to get the order in than to worry about the seating arrangements.<br /><br />Only when the bed times caused some of us to read while the others went to sleep did any one question why we only had one room when we usually get two. Granted this child friendly hotel caters to larger sleeping arrangements, but we are down scaling our needs as we travel together and are needs become more refined as a group.<br /><br />A family! This must be what is meant of a family vacation bringing people together.<br /><br />Tonight I sleep in a queen size bed with my four year old, the twelve year old in the pull out couch next to me, the "KIDS CABIN" which is an upper bunk bed for the six year old, under her the 9 year old and across from them the ten year old.<br />Finally the thirteen year old in a single blowup bed across the room.<br /><br />A family, we are in such close quarters, I have this great chance to be the mother I want to be. Tonight I pray;<br /><br />"Therefore since we are surrounded by such great witness let us throw off<br />everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and let us run<br />with perserverance the race marked out for us<br />(HEB 12:1)KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-89864207781233071662010-08-24T07:00:00.001-04:002010-08-24T09:11:55.712-04:00On OntarioSome tips on crossing the boarder to Canada.<br /><br /> *Did you know you need a letter from your husband<br /> if you are crossing the boarder alone with your<br /> six children?<br /><br />I think it would be worse if you tried crossing with only two. You see<br />not even the boarder control guards believed that i was the birth mother<br />and guardian of all these young children. First they verified this information when I presented their passports, then they proceeded to ask me if I am leaving my husband and fleeing with my children to Canada.....I think even the border control guard chuckled just a bit when he asked this standard question.<br /><br />We entered Ontario, Canada and drove straight down Victoria Road to the great Wolf Lodge. Now 200 tokens later I am in Bed, watching a Pay-Per-View and I am queen !<br />Everyone is assigned to everyone.....Everyone wants tokens, I am more than happy to abide.<br /><br />If I didnt expect to give my children tokens, then I should have not pulled into this place to begin with. My best advise is to create a token plan.<br /><br />Start Fresh. Everyone gets the same amount of tokens, maybe the older kids a few more for watching the younger ones. Dont hold any old behavior over anybody. <br /><br />I gave my credit card to the ten year old for him to use the credit card machine to get the 200 tokens and divide them up amongst everyone. What a great chance I have to show how much I trust this child. What a great opportunity for him to feel responsible about his new wallet which he carries everywhere. It now holds mom's credit card. She Trusts me. I am responsible. I feel proud of myself.<br /><br />What can you do today to make your child feel responsible and proud?KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-21209735663527482392010-08-23T09:48:00.005-04:002010-08-23T10:22:09.646-04:00On TravelHow is it travelling with six children? <br /><br />The questions that you will be asking will probably be logistics. I am really good at logistics (This made me able to accept my lifes purpose, to raise these six children and live in love with my husband)<br /><br />Travelling with six children is coaching a team of different individuals who all have different skill levels (due to age and size) but all need to learn how to play<br />-On the Team----- in this Family------in life<br /><br />I am constantly learning how to offer them what they need, without punishing them or trying to control them....when they are out of bounds or completely off sides.<br /><br />I am happy that they find it in them to jest about the endless books or tapes i read and hear in order to keep myself educated. <br /><br /><br />Here, in a Comfort Inn, I look right and see my RV Parked along Niagra Falls Drive, with the Comfort Inn Pass in the Window! (The only way I was able to park and sleep<br />closest to the Falls on the American Side.<br /><br />I look left and see the 6 year old,9 year old, 4 year old and 10 year old all lined up on the end of their bed,watching the game one is playing on the tv, with paper cups of fruit loops, showered and dressed in clean, collared shirts and cacky pants. I see the door to the connecting room where<br />the 12 year old and thirteen year old are still trying to sleep .<br /><br />We are going over RAINBOW BRIDGE to Canada today and we have all voted on a list of things we are going to do in Ontario. They include:<br /><br />*Maid of the Mist Boat to under the Falls<br />*Crystal Cave park<br />*Cave of the Wind (where you walk out into the falls edge)<br />*Indoor Gravity Free Skydiving<br /><br />and Overnight in the Majestic Bear Suite at the Great Wolf Lodge, Amusement Park Level, Victoria Road, Ontario, Canada !<br /><br />Why do I do this? Because it is all that I want to do, because it is most natural to be here in this role, in these relationships, in this adventure.<br /><br />Is there an adventure waiting for you?KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-891189370134242972010-08-22T19:04:00.004-04:002019-10-04T11:00:07.017-04:00on Road TripsIt was Friday morning,<br>the BLUE VAN (which has 12 seats and enough room for<br>luggage, picks us up to take us to the airports<br>EVERY TIME. Its $100.00 to JFK and they are always on <br>time 1-800-bluevan)<br><br>We have one way tickets to ROCHESTER, NY which we got<br>for about $61.00 per person on US AIR <br><br>We have DAVID from the RV RENTAL CENTER in Rochester, New York<br>meeting us with a 28 foot self drive recreational vehicle.<br><br>The load the 9 sports size green matching duffle bags and 3 black body size duffle bags. The body bags are filled with the sleeping bags, tents and camping gear and get stored in the belly of the RV. The personal green duffle bags go<br>inside the shower stall and are loaded in the RV curbside at Rochester Airport<br>and we head on our way west !<br><br>Every ONE child has one bag with all their clothes<br>There is ONE extra bag with all swimming gear,goggles,towels,floaties<br>One bag is for me<br>and one more bag for sneakers and toiletries <br><br>There we are, on the road with no reservations. We know we are going to visit NIAGRA FALLS and we know we are going camping, and thats all we know !<br><br>There is a sign DARIEN LAKES AMUSEMENT PARK.....<br><br>We check into a hotel room with three queen beds that is attached to an AMUSEMENT PARK similar to Six Flags and Action park Water Park combined .<br><br><br>What could be better.....................KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-87878810516942165962010-08-17T11:30:00.004-04:002010-08-17T11:43:31.810-04:00On Communication"If we want to be influential, than we have to first bring ourselves under control.<br />Only then can we choose our response. Only then can we choose how we want to behave regardless of how our children behave" <br /><br />"We are much less responsible for our children then we have ever been told, however we have a far greater responsibility to our children than we have ever realized"<br /><br />"Our biggest struggle as parents is not with the television,not with the computer and not even with drugs and alcohol. Our biggest struggle as parents is our own reactivity. Thats is why the greatest thing we can do for our kids is to learn to focus on us, not them. Instead of trying to CONTROL our kids, lets consentrate on<br />what we can control--calming our emotional knee-jerk reactions"<br /><br />These are some quotes from a great book I just finished by Hal Edward Runkel<br />called "Scream Free Parenting, the revelotionary approach to raising your kids by keeping your cool !"<br /><br />Enjoy the rest of your summer and enjoy reading !KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-76294903966135303322010-08-16T09:11:00.017-04:002010-08-16T09:36:18.332-04:00on Being House GuestsYou might wonder how many times we are invited to be house guests of someone else with six kids......but<br /><br />We are invited a lot more than you would expect!<br /><br />We are a clan, we are a group charged with an enormous amount of energy,we are a family !<br /><br />I was so proud of my children this weekend, as they test out their own identities in an envirment that is safe, all summer long,<br /><br />Here when they are out of their envirnment, guests in someone elses house, <br />they are who they are! Children I am proud of !<br /><br />I make sure to ask my hosts<br /><br />"What are the rules in your house, on your property for us"<br />I teach my children that its important to find out what someone elses<br />rules are and what would make them comfortable while we stay here !<br /><br />We learn that one rule is to close all the gates to the street and to the pool.<br />I watch as my children roam freely around the perfectly manicured hedges, reaching so high, they dwarf even the ten year old. I watch them enter and exit the pool...and look behind that the gate is latched!<br /><br />I never tell them how I expect them to behave, but I ask some important questions<br /><br /><br />" What is your rule on us going into your refrigerator"<br />" What is your rule on shoes in and out of the house"<br /><br /><br /><br />We walk around the house and we come to a garden. New York City Children do not often see tomatoes growing , ready to pick.<br /><br />I pull one off the vine and I sing<br /><br /> "Mortals join the mighty chorus which the morning stars began<br /> Love divine is reigning over us<br /> leading us with mercys hand<br /><br /> Ever singing, march we onward<br /> Victors in the midst of strife<br /> Joyful music leads us sunward<br /> In the triumph song of life"<br /><br />and we eat !KMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128167276290223702.post-41589184506142263972010-08-11T09:00:00.000-04:002010-08-11T09:00:08.550-04:00On Summer MemoriesI have just completed the 50 pages of summer book for each child. I purchase small books, notebook style. On the left side of the page I print a picture every night of each child.<br /><br />I travel with a $100 picture mate camera printer which comes with a travel case! Every night or morning I print out a picture and use double stick tape to tape it to the left side of this small note book.<br /><br />On the right side, I write down a small memory of the day.<br /><br /><br />This causes me to CREATE MEMORIES. How can I go a whole day and not connect with a child, I can not. Creating memory books helps me to bring my intention of connecting with my children every day tied to an action .<br /><br />Print out some pictures today, write about them. There are a few weeks before school starts. What better present to give to your child, them an end of the summer journal from you to them !<br /><br />Good Luck with creating your summer memoriesKMGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10585968070288503389noreply@blogger.com0