As important it is to grow and expand and learn new and improved ways to handle situations in your life, when these changes involve smaller people, less powerful people, they might not understand the changes taking place and how you are handling the situation differently, they might think it unfair as the rules have changed.
And they might be right.
So you have to be as good at explaining how the 'unjustices' are what is causing the new behavior.
I think you have to explain that when one action doesn't create the result you want, you have to try another.
I am VERY CLEAR that my intentions are not to bring poison or angry words into their lives, for I lov them, they are my children, and I want to see when happy.
I have explained how I see it unfair when the older children beat up on a younger one, or when a value is not respected and therefore it might seem just as unfair for me to remove the internet wire and make the children win it back by having to beat me in TENNIS (my strongest sport).
they can stop the ungodly behavior and return to the UNITY OF BROTHERS in our house.
I am clear that they do not have to LIKE eachother, that their feelings, whether love or hate, are ok, they are their feelings and I have no desire to control what they feel.
But mutual respect and accountability are the VALUES we share in this house as a family! And here I stand strong!
I have to say that being consistant has brought the children towards me and not drawn away from me as they know what to expect.
They know that their actions are not going to create a reaction in me but a calmer more serious effect.
Be strong with your lessons and make sure they are teaching something !