I just finished a book, The Fifth Agreement and I want to share first about the third agreement;
DONT MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
He writes "Lies exist only if we create them, and they only survive if we believe in them"
I write "Assumptions are the evil of good parenting!"
I walk up the stairs towards the guest room, where my thirteen year old, who shares his bedroom with three other brothers, is taken haven.
He has been there, the door is open (a previous successful agreement to allow him to have the laptop with him).
I have to ask myself, how am I about to approach? What is it that I want to achieve?
I'll tell you. I have no agenda, I want to simply have a nice exchange.
So I ask "Is now a good time?" and I get a "NO"
I continue, "when would be better?" and I get a "What do you want, mom"
I gently offer "I'd love to begin the packing process this week, as you are leaving for camp next Saturday and we can have some time to get anything you are missing"
I planted a seed, I had an exchange with him that showed him I care about helping him and for now, thats enough.
I make no assumptions that what I want and what he wants are the same so I am not upset.
Drop your assumptions for today and be a supermom !