I remember here on our Winter Ski Vacation, that the children, whether 13, 9 or 6,
Whether 12, 11 or 5, are all a bit displaced. I remember that their complaints are because they are uncomfortable and trying to get comfortable, that they are missing something that has been moved and that they are less independant as they CAN be because we are in a New place, a smaller place....
.......My role here in mothering, is to comfort, to listen and not to add to the discomfort anyone is feeling by asking "What is your problem" Not even to myself.
I instead lay out all the ski clothes in packages, i make sure the goggles and gloves are together and set across the table for all six children...I make sure the wool socks are inside the boots and they are being warmed by the fire.
ITS MY BIRTHDAY TODAY:
I remember that the children want to give, its their nature, but they dont have the resources, so I lay out a book of GIFT CERTIFICATES i purchased at Staples and have them fill them out and put them in a bowl with a sign marked "BIRTHDAY GIFT CERTIFICATES FOR MOM"......I love the offers of ""ONE TRIP TO GO OUT AND GET MILK"
and the "ONE BIKE RIDE TO THE BOATHOUSE" or "ONE YOU DONT HAVE TO LEAVE WHEN I ASK YOU TO LEAVE"
We start the EGG GAME TODAY. That is a family tradition. A Game that we play when ever we go skiing.One person holds a UNHARDBOILED egg until it cracks or until they leave it even for a minute and the one to hold the egg the longest wins the prize for that trip. You have to keep the egg with you, ski with it, sleep with it....Its very exciting to negotiate through the rules.
The negotiating through the rules and letting the children create the rules and backing them on the rules they create with eachother enpowers them in a way that feels right.
In this role, I am a mother, but I am not mothering, I am just here and part of your life and playing and listening to you .
I know the legacy I want to leave .....it is not to say:
"I AM STILL YOUR MOTHER, BUT THAT I AM STILL HERE !'
"I am still listening to you"
"Your decisions make me proud"
Enjoy your family holidays !