Monday, November 29, 2010

How many times do you call home ?

When on vacation
Alone with your husband
What is the right amount of times to call home ?

I feel very comfortable answering the phone whenever it rings. An understanding of how important for the younger children to feel safe in their abilities to reach you when they need you....to feel safe enough in their separation from you and its all ok....and in that they grow !

I reach out to the older children and text them. I text them little antidotes or forward them emails I get from Burton (as spam but there is a purpose to them too) and suggest they consider what they need for skiing season....I forward a school email on when the photo retake day is...as a mark that I remembered and cared about the conversations we had about someone not liking theirpersonal photo from picture day.

I communicate with the older kids by making a connection with them outside my role as mother and inside of a role as another human being in this world who considers them as people with cares about their concerns.

I am happy that they are home with my brother....and while I am away from them with their father, my brother comes in to support our children.

Community, family, a great natural lesson I don't want to undermine by constant calls home " Are u ok without me?" Why wouldn't you be ?

Also as I sit here on the beach trying to be peaceful with my husband I send the message to my husband "I am happy here with you and the kids are ok and I need not remain in the role of mother, when I am not mothering, I can now be just wife and share that peace with you now !

Enjoy your time when you are with your children and enjoy your time when you are not !